Roots and Fruit: What Are You Producing?

"The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree". People say this often to describe how a child is similar to their parent. Whether it be good or bad, when this is said, we know what the quoter is implying. It is important for us to know where we come from-our roots. Knowing so will help us to better understand how we relate with others or why we may choose to engage in certain behaviors.

This doesn't mean that knowing your history will answer all of your questions, solve your problems or justify your actions, it simply allows us to gain a better grasp on ourselves; after all, we can truly only change ourselves! Here are a few examples:

Root-Growing up, your mother tells you not to depend on men because they are all worthless and will leave you. Your father reinforces this belief by not being present in your life or making empty promises.

Fruit (possible)-You tend to push men away when things get too serious in order to "leave him before he leaves me".

Root-Your parents consistently praised your efforts and accomplishments.

Fruit (possible)- You have a healthy self esteem, self confidence and instill the same values in your children.

As you can see, either of these beliefs are capable of producing a continuous cycle. So, the next time you engage in a "root" behavior, ask yourself, "what fruits am I producing?" Your answer may surprise you.

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

Managing Financial Stress

With the economy in "crisis", no bail outs for the average American, an increase in unemployment rates and the price of everyday items increasing while paychecks remain the same, or even decrease; many people may be experiencing stress related to financial hardships. I was recently interviewed and the featured writer for the coaching blog, The FIRM (Financially Independent Role Models) and discussed how to manage stress during, what to some, are tough times. In this blog are some of the excerpts from the article.

Why is it important to be 'stress free' when thinking about finances?

Stress can cause many adverse effects to our bodies. When we are stressed, several hormones are released. Some stress is good as it helps us react in anxiety producing situations. However, too much stress without an outlet to relieve it can be detrimental. These days, the word "finance" or money automatically produces a reaction. When focusing on finances and many other situations, it is important to be clear headed and focused. This prevents us from making hasty or irrational decisions.

What are some tips on how people can handle stress in these tough economic times? (Many of these tips can be applied to any type of stress)

- Make a budget, and try hard to stick to it, only adjusting it for important financial changes.

- Journal about your experience. If this is all new to you, you may experience a range of emotions. Writing about it will help clear your head. You'll also be able to look back on it and see how successful you were, or you may learn what not to do in case of another financial crisis.

- Establish a support system with friends, family and people who are doing well during these times. These people will guide you through. You can also learn something about good money management.

- Learn your body and pay attention to signs you may be stressed (headache, stomach ache, fatigue, irritability).

- Exercise! Just as stress releases hormones, physical activity releases "feel good" hormones or endorphins. This will automatically decrease current stress.

- Identify what about your situation is stressing you and figure out if the feeling is really stress. It may be that you are scared, anxious, frustrated. Basically, discover underlying or associated feelings. Then, you can deal with the real issue.

-When stressed, try deep breathing exercises to promote relaxation.

-Seek professional help (both financial and therapeutic). If financial stress has you out of sorts and effecting your day-to-day activities, you may benefit from short term counseling to get you back on track.

-Practice self care! It's ok to put yourself first at times. Remember, when you're at your best, you can help others to be there best!

Don't forget to leave a comment and let readers know your stress management techniques when it comes to money management.

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*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*