What a Difference a New Vision Makes!

I received a phone call tonight from "Suzy" asking me if I felt she was wrong by not contacting a her sister "Jane" to resolve a problem. I gave my opinion, she gave hers, and that went back and forth for a while. Then, I heard something that struck a cord with me, "she knows what she is doing, she made me angry, talking to me like I'm a child". I listened as Suzy explained how her sister, Jane, "made me angry" and as Suzy negated many of my view points. Eventually Suzy was able to hear me out!



It's not what a person does to us that makes us angry, it's more of what we think about what the person did that makes us angry. For example, you go to a "classy" restaurant and the waiter, in your opinion, ignores you. You try to get his attention and he continues to walk pass you and brush you off. You really want to try this new place so you don't immediately leave. By now, you feel yourself getting antsy, somewhat hot under the collar. You think, "how dare he ignore me, he must think I can't afford this place, he must be prejudice". Now, you really get heated and ask for the manager. The waiter's action of "ignoring" you didn't anger you, it was your perception of why he may be ignoring you. Now, think about it like this, he just received a call that there was a tradegy in his family, or his wife is in labor but his boss wouldn't let him leave yet because "it's really busy that night", plus, if he leaves, his check will be short and he won't be able to buy his newborn pampers! How would you feel if you knew this information prior to your thought pattern? You'd probably feel sorry for him, be more patient, you may even leave a bigger tip!



The point is, our thinkinig can determine our feelings and how we react about a situation. Now, back to the phone call. What if the Jane really didn't know what she was doing angered Suzy, better yet, how can Jane know, if Suzy never even told her about how Jane's actions make her feel? So, Suzy is getting angry because of how she FEELS about Jane's actions. And Jane has no idea because Suzy never told her. After talking this out with Suzy, the tone changed to, "Now I can see where people are coming from, she's not wrong, she doesn't know".



Wow, what a difference a New Vision makes. But there's even a bigger reward when we make a choice to think differently, ultimately causing us to feel differently! I challenge you this week to re-evaluate some situations you may be experiencing and ask yourself, "am I really mad/sad/hurt by this persons behavior, or is it what I think about their behavior that has me mad/sad/hurt?" You may be surprised to find out how much control you really have!





*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911.*