The Power of Praise

“Wow, your hair looks amazing today!” “Honey, the dinner you cooked was fantastic!” or “Jim, that was an excellent report you gave at the meeting!” The power of praise can take your relationships to elevating new levels. Life is all about relationships, and to have any type of successful relationship one should utilize the art of praise.

There is power in praising people. It’s no secret that one can get more with honey than vinegar. Praise is all about focusing on the positive, and it is generally a win-win proposition.  It builds connections, helps people feel appreciated, and let’s people know you are paying attention.

Giving praise does not just benefit the person you gave the compliment too, it benefits you as well.  The impact that you can make on someone, simply from the way you interact with them is enormous. It could be as simple as saying something genuine to make someone smile, which causes them to be happy. Their happiness you brought upon could lead to them liking you more, or being more receptive to helping you. The investment of compliments usually reaps over a thousand fold. The more positive you put out, the more positive comes your way.  Anyone who understands the theory pay it forward, can attest to that.

Giving praise requires paying attention to detail and finding the good in situations. By doing so you are changing your frame of thought to positivity. Positivity determines if your glass is half full. My challenge to you is to find the positive in spouse, co-workers, and children. If you feel you can’t find something, then keep looking. Even if it is something small, make an effort to give praise.

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

The Secret You Didn't Know About Your Friends

Friendship Colours defines a friend as, the one who are always there with you, whether the times are bad or good. They never leave your side, even if the situation is worst. For them, it doesn't matter what day is it or what season. When we are sad, its our friends only who make us comfort, and laugh with us when we are sad. They give us good advice, and we can count on them to treat us nice. Friends solve our stupid problem and share good time so that joy can become double.

One of the most important yet least understood relationships are friendships. As one becomes an adult, the demanding activities of life often take away from the time once belonged to bonding to your closest buddies. However, friendships are crucial to the sustaining healthy living.

There are several benefits to friendships. Mayo Clinic describes some of the benefits as:

Friends help you celebrate good times and are your support system during the bad times

Friends increase your sense of belonging and purpose

Friends boost your happiness

Friends can help reduce stress

Friends improve your self worth

They help you cope with trauma

They encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy life styles

When it comes to friendships the quality of friends are much more important than the quantity. Some people prefer a large social network while others prefer a small group of close friends and acquaintances. There are four different types of friendships: Work friendships, community friends, acquaintances, and best friends. All serve a different role and are all equally important in your life.

The Gallup Organizations’s director, Tom Rath, undertook a massive study of friendship and found some surprising statistics: if your best friend eats healthily, you are five times more likely to have a healthy diet yourself. Married people say friendship is more than five times as important as physical intimacy within marriage. Those who say they have no real friends at work have only a one in 12 chance of feeling engaged in their job. Conversely, if you have a “best friend at work”, you are seven times more likely to feel engaged in your job.

Consider taking the time to sit down and take audit of the people in your life and their purpose. Reflect upon if you have healthy friendships and if you need to eliminate toxic ones. Determine if you need to expand yourself to create more relationships. True friendships require time and commitment, and sincerity.

British writer Mark Vernon writes that a close friend is a mirror of your own self, someone with whom you realize that, though autonomous, you are not alone. So although you may be busy with the daily operations of your life, career, and family, utilize time management to create and nurture the friends in your life. These bonds you cultivate can enhance and save your life. 

Are You Independent?

Happy 4th of July - 

How Independent Are You?

Tips to Become Independent

Written by: -Mark Goulston, M.D., F.A.P.A. 

Fourth of July is a great time of year to ask yourself, how independent are you? Are you Dependent, Pseudo-independent or Independent?

Dependent: You're needy. You lean on and on top of people. You try to get other people to take on your problems as their responsibility to fix. You've got the kiss of death with regard to personal and professional relationships. You need to stand up and grow up.

Pseudo-independent: You act un-needy, but you're really prideful, don't believe anyone else will do it right and don't want to be beholding to anyone. You can't really do life without other people. Your "empire" is no more than a glass menagerie, but as long as you don't see it that way, it doesn't seem to matter to you that everyone else does.

Independent: You are needful. You lean into people. You get input from others, but keep your problems as your responsibility. You are mature enough to realize that until you can be effectively interdependent, you can't be independent.

How to Become Independent

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The measure of true independence is how self-reliant, resourceful and coachable you are.
I work with many successful CEO's, executives, senior managers to become even more successful. Something they have in common and in spades are self-reliance, resourcefulness and coachability.

Self-reliance means that their default mode is to be responsible and take on increasing responsibility to further their companies, their teamsand their missions. They don't pass the buck, make excuses or stay submerged in indecisiveness.

Resourcefulness means that they are clear about the resources they need to accomplish their goals and are not hesitant in accessing those resources. They are also reciprocators by nature, meaning they don't take others' effort for granted and give back to those who help them out.

Coachability means they seek, listen to and act upon solid, relevant input from others (even the greatest athletes have coaches their entire careers). In realizing the value of such coaching they have learned to also be great coaches to their people. They are NOT "know-it-alls," but are constantly seeking to know all of it so they can make the best decisions.

The more self-reliant, resourceful and coachable you and your children are, the better your and their lives. The less you and they are of each of those (and the more you are overly dependent or act like "know-it-alls"), the worse your and their lives and more miserable you and they will be.

Have a conversation with your kids about what being independent means to them. After they answer it, ask them what they think about about the notions of being self-reliant (translate it to being able to depend on yourself), resourceful (translate it to being able to come up with solutions and the best help for problems they may face) and coachable (translate it to being able to find the best people to give them the best advice to help them do whatever they want to do).