He Proposed...3 Questions You Need to Ask Before Saying Yes

 

In the animal kingdom, the male counterparts are the ones that do all the courting during the mating season. They fight other males, they showcase their beautiful colors, they build elaborate houses, all to prove to the female that they are the superior suitor.

In the case of the Bower bird he doesn’t fight or display elaborate colors, instead he uses his cognitive and building skills to lure a mate. He builds a bower to attract his female counterpart. He takes great pride in his bower using sticks and twigs to build it high enough for her to see. He adorns it with insects, flower petals, and other objects he thinks will attract a mate.

In addition to being a master builder, the Bower bird is also a master illusionist. In order to appear bigger and thus more desirable to his mate, he arranges stones at the end of his bower from small to big. This way when his female counterparts view him from the other end of the bower, he appears bigger next to the smaller stones. This makes the female think he will be a good candidate to mate with because he is big and strong and will produce big and strong offspring to help the species survive.

When contemplating a potential candidate for marriage, he/she may present an illusion of the type of person you want to marry. Once the marriage has happened and the illusion wears off, you are left with chaos and confusion.

To help you avoid this scenario happening to you I have listed 3 crucial questions to ask  your mate before marriage.

1. Can I See Your Credit Report?

Before you marry someone it is important to know their financial obligations. Viewing their

credit report will give you insight into their money managing skills, so don’t be afraid to ask  for it. You need to know their debt to income ratio, how many collection accounts they have, how many credit cards they have, how many open expenses they have. Also you need to know if they pay alimony or child support. This is crucial to know because once you get married their debt becomes your debt. It’s also important to discuss what you will do if one spouse becomes unemployed. How long will you be able to live off of  one income before it becomes a problem. If your spouse gets hurt and can no longer work, will you be willing to accept being the sole provider indefinitely?

 

2. Can I See Your Medical History?

What is the health status of the person you are with? Have you two taken a complete STD exam before having sexual relations? Do they have heart problems, cancer, high blood pressure etc. You need to know the health of the person you are marrying to decide if you are going to have to be a caregiver. Is this a role you will undertake with pleasure and ease? How will you feel if your significant other gains weight? How much weight is okay? Do they drink? Do drugs? What if they won’t stop?

3.  Do you want children?

Does the person you are with have children? Do they want more children? If they don’t have children, do they want children? How will you raise your children? Do you believe in spanking or time outs? Do you want your children to go to school or be home schooled? What religion will you raise your children to believe? Will one of you stay home with the children?

There are so many other things to learn about your potential life partner but these three critical questions should help to get the conversation started. Remember your mate like the Bower bird will create an illusion of what you want but you need to delve deeper to find out if your mate is what you need.

For more help contact me to set up pre-marital counseling and I will help you and your mate make the best decision with regards to your relationship.

The One Technique That Will Help You Reach Sexual Nirvana

Does your sex life need a complete  makeover? Could it benefit from an extensive renovation?

An unfulfilling sex life is one of the biggest complaints I get from my clients. Their once vibrant and passionate sex life has now become dull and apathetic. This can happen for many reasons but it doesn’t have to continue. There are things you can do to fight your way back from the wasteland of mundane sex and re-enter the sexual eden you and your partner once experienced.

What is the current condition of your sex life?

The greatest way to transform your sex life is to make it more than just a physical exchange. Help the bonds of your relationship grow stronger by making your sex more spiritual in nature. This can be achieved by incorporating Tantric Sex into your bedroom.  

Tantric Sex is a way to move your sexual experience beyond physical and reach a deeper spiritual level of intimacy with your mate. This type of sexual experience should only be done with someone with whom you are in a committed relationship. The practicing of Tantric Sex will help your relationship to heal so that you can once again have a passionate sex life.

The article 5 STEPS TO ACHIEVING THE MOST TANTRIC INTIMACY gives the following simple steps with instructions for beginners:

1. Lock Eyes And Breathe Deeply
2. Assume A “Yab-Yum” Position
3. Synchronize Your Breathing
4. Clear Your Mind Of Any Thought
5. Fire Breath Orgasm And Cobra Breath

While these things may sound silly or seem intimidating they can be completed with ease. To get a better understanding of Tantric Sex read the article in it’s entirety and also do your own research.

Tantric Sex is a wonderful way to recharge and renew your sex life and the bond you share with your partner. It can help your partnership to become more cohesive and stronger so that you can withstand any adversity. It also has the added benefit of helping you both to become more self aware and if embraced in it’s entirety help you heal from past hurts.

If you are ready to reach your sexual nirvana then give Tantric Sex a try.

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.* 

How To Stop Agonizing And Conquer Your Goals

“Dare to dream! If you did not have the capability to make your wildest wishes come true, your mind would not have the capacity to conjure such ideas in the first place. There is no limitation on what you can potentially achieve, except for the limitation you choose to impose on your own imagination. What you believe to be possible will always come to pass - to the extent that you deem it possible. It really is as simple as that.” -  Anthon St. Maarten

This is the final edition to my month long blog series about setting goals using the S.M.A.R.T. method. I hope you have not only learned from my post but actually committed to making your goals SMART.

Subscribe to my blog post so you won’t miss next month’s series, love and relationships.

In today’s post I will be going over the last letter in the S.M.A.R.T. goals method. At the end of this post I will provide an example of a goal in its completion using this method.

 

I would love for you to share your SMART goal with me by leaving a comment below.

I have enjoyed teaching about goal setting this month. While teaching you I also taught myself more about crafting my goals better so that I will achieve them.

Has it done the same for you?

Let’s begin crafting the last portion of your S.M.A.R.T. goals, Time-Bound.

Don’t forget your S.M.A.R.T. goals worksheet.

Time-Bound

This portion of goal setting refers to setting your goals in a time frame giving them a sense of urgency. By setting a specific date on which your goals should be achieved you do not let life get in the way of achieving your goals. In my last blog post I gave in my example how to set a specific date for completing your goals.

 

Bad Example: I am going to lose 20lbs this year.

Good Example: I am going to lose 20lbs by this year. I will be starting my diet on May 1, 2016 and I will have lost 20lbs by August 12, 2016.   

By setting a specific date you begin to subconsciously place more value and importance on this goal because you have given yourself a deadline.

I have completed explaining how to craft your goals using the S.M.A.R.T. goal setting method.

Have you understood how to implement this new strategy of goal setting?

I will now give you one last example using all five letters of the S.M.A.R.T. goal.

Bad Example: I want to lose 20lbs pounds this year so I can fit into my bikini this summer when I go to the beach.

 
Good Example: Starting on January 1, 2016 I am going to start my diet so that I will lose 20lbs in order to fit into a bikini when I go the Bahamas. I can just envision myself walking along the beach with no self-doubt, fear or shame. I will be confident once again in my own body and my self-awareness will improve. I will begin my diet by changing my eating habits following the Weight Watchers diet plan. I will start walking three times a week for at least 30 minutes and toning twice a week for 15 minutes each session doing upper body one day and lower body the next day. I will have lost 20lbs by May 23, 2016 and I will be able to fit into my size 8 bikini.

 

See the difference in the two examples?

 

The first example is just a vague statement and when reading it doesn’t invoke any excitement, urgency or importance. In the next example however, you have a vision of how your life will be when you lose 20lbs and you have an executable plan of action to follow.

As I bring this blog post to a close I want to thank you for reading.

I cannot say enough how I hope you not only got value out of this but also that you implement the strategies that you have learned.

Leave me a comment below and tell me your thoughts. I would love to hear your feedback.

 

P.S. Subscribe to my blog post so you won’t miss next month’s subject. In honor of Valentine’s Day all month long I will be discussing love and relationship. In one of my post I will be revealing how to use a certain type of sex method to build a stronger spiritual bond with your partner. Subscribe now to find out what it is, next month.

 

The Power of Praise

“Wow, your hair looks amazing today!” “Honey, the dinner you cooked was fantastic!” or “Jim, that was an excellent report you gave at the meeting!” The power of praise can take your relationships to elevating new levels. Life is all about relationships, and to have any type of successful relationship one should utilize the art of praise.

There is power in praising people. It’s no secret that one can get more with honey than vinegar. Praise is all about focusing on the positive, and it is generally a win-win proposition.  It builds connections, helps people feel appreciated, and let’s people know you are paying attention.

Giving praise does not just benefit the person you gave the compliment too, it benefits you as well.  The impact that you can make on someone, simply from the way you interact with them is enormous. It could be as simple as saying something genuine to make someone smile, which causes them to be happy. Their happiness you brought upon could lead to them liking you more, or being more receptive to helping you. The investment of compliments usually reaps over a thousand fold. The more positive you put out, the more positive comes your way.  Anyone who understands the theory pay it forward, can attest to that.

Giving praise requires paying attention to detail and finding the good in situations. By doing so you are changing your frame of thought to positivity. Positivity determines if your glass is half full. My challenge to you is to find the positive in spouse, co-workers, and children. If you feel you can’t find something, then keep looking. Even if it is something small, make an effort to give praise.

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

What Will You Gain When You Lose?

I love this question and frequently use it during my counseling sessions. It's from the Special K advertisement and everytime I see the commercial, I ask myself that question. The main concept the company is addressing is by losing weight, what will you gain? It gets viewers to think about it, to see themselves in a different light. Not only will they lose weight, but they will also gain something much more meaningful to them. On the Special K website, you see women holding various signs showing what they've gained. Words like sass, assurance, delight, peace and glow adorn the page.

This is the same in common, everyday life situations. Often times we see a loss as something bad. The loss of a job or loved one, or even losing our keys or something important can cause us a great deal of stress and anguish.

But what about those things that we need to lose? What can you gain by losing low self esteem. What about losing negative self talk? Can you stand to lose out on an unhealthy relationship?

Ask yourself, "what will I gain when I lose" and then go for being a loser! It's OK!

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*