Dealing With In-Laws During The Holidays

Does the thought of spending time with your in-laws during the holidays make you anxious or over the top stressed out? Not all in-laws are "outlaws" but for some people, it may seem like it.

Just relax, this time doesn’t have to be stressful and it can actually be quite pleasant if you follow these simple steps.

Steps To Survive Your In-Laws During The Holidays

• Adjust Your Attitude

Instead of thinking about how horrid the time spent with your in-laws will be, focus instead on the positive. Remember that the holidays are a time to spend with family and loved ones. Think about how happy spending time with your in-laws makes your spouse. If you just zone in on this one principle, making your spouse happy, you will find that dealing with your in-laws is a lot more tolerable.

• Communicate Your Concerns With Your Spouse

If you know that every time your in-laws are around it makes your skin crawl, then discuss this openly with your spouse. Share your concerns so that the two of you can work through them together. Illicit help from your spouse in dealing with your in-laws.  Your spouse can act as a mediator or your defender, depending on the situation. But your spouse won’t be able to do either if unaware of your feelings and concerns.   

• Be Assertive

If at any point you feel like your in-laws are being disrespectful or rude it is perfectly acceptable to be assertive in your response without being combative. You can simply state to your in-laws that you will not accept any mistreatment from them. If they continue with their disrespectful behavior, try to put some distance between you, by not being in the same room with them. Instead be with other family members in different areas of the house or stay by your spouse’s side so that your spouse can witness the bad behavior first hand and deal with it.  


The key to surviving the holidays with your in-laws is to remember that the time spent with them will be short. They are an extension of your spouse and so to make your spouse happy you can endure them during the holidays. Once they are gone life will resume as normal. There is no need to let them stress you out or ruin your holiday good cheer.