I'm A Survivor

"I'm a survivor, I'm not gon' give up. I'm not gon' stop, I'm gon' work harder. I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, keep on survivin'!"

These are the lyrics to Destiny's Child hit song, Survivor.

I conducted a group yesterday with 8 teen girls who have lived and experienced almost every kind of imaginable abuse and trauma. The topic was "Victim vs. Survivor" and I had them make a list of the characteristics of a victim and those of a survivor. When we began discussing a survivor, some gave the general answers, "strong, happy, trusting". Then came the "deeper" answers like, "willing, white, black, powerful, wounded, fights back, uses misfortune to their advantage, learns from their mistakes" and so on. As the group moved on, they agreed, "a survivor can be anyone. I'm a survivor!" Once they really absorbed this thinking, their attitudes and body language shifted to a positive, and what seemed to me, joyful disposition. They were able to learn that despite their life's experiences, they don't have to be victims, they can "fight back" and be a survivor. As a therapist, this was a joyous moment for me. I was thinking, "they get it, they really get it!!"

So, my next question to them was how does one move from being a victim to being a survivor and these are the answers from girls 13-16 years old:
Talk your problems out,
Take baby steps,
Get a support system,
Identify the problem then admit it is a problem,
Ask for support,
Build a team of trusted people.

I challenge you to identify those things that are making you a victim and use these steps to help you move to a survivor. You can then finish with Destiny's Child's tune: "After all the darkness and sadness, soon comes happiness. If I surround myself with positive things, I'll gain prosperity"!

Leave a comment with your thoughts, song lyrics, and/or quotes related to being a survivor.

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911.*