Monday, October 10, 2011


Forgive. What does this mean? I remember often hearing the phrase “forgive, but never forget” growing up. Now that I’m older, that sounds more like a contradiction. How can you forgive someone and continue to hold on to hurtful or negative thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, people feel like they must hold on to these feelings or memories in order to protect themselves. Anger, distrust, and or rigid boundaries became an unhealthy defense mechanism when we choose to hold on the negative feelings.

In order to forgive, we must CHOOSE to let go of painful thoughts/feelings/memories in order to move forward. Forgiveness is a process. In other words, it does not happen over night. But, you have the ability to choose by making a conscious effort and saying “I don’t want to hurt anymore” or “I do not want this person or that thing to hold me back anymore”. This conscious decision is the first step in moving forward and learning to forgive.

*Blog contributed by Shaketa Robinson-Bruce, LPC. Shaketa is a therapist at New Vision Counseling Center, LLC who works with children, adolescents and adults providing individual, family and couples therapy. Info in this blog is strictly the writer's personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911. To learn more about Mrs. Robinson-Bruce and the services she offers at NVCC, click here.*