Benefits of Putting Your Marriage First

Like many couples, when you have children you fall into a pattern. That pattern usually consists of your kids, because they now have become your life. Although your children may be your pride and joy and are a huge factor in making your life complete. The child-centered life can take a toll on relationships and can be even harder for the kids. Focusing on your marriage first can not only create a healthier marriage, but also produce happier children as well.

Researchers who study family behavior agree that a strong bond between parents is the heart of a happy family. As sex therapist Laura Berman, Ph.D., puts it in her couples' guide, The Book of Love, "No matter how sacrilegious it sounds...you need to put your relationship before your children. A strong relationship provides security for your children and demonstrates how a loving, respectful partnership should be. What could be more important?"

"Our studies show that how a couple's relationship is going has an impact on how the kids are doing," says Philip Cowan, Ph.D., an emeritus professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley. He's studied families for decades with his wife, psychologist Carolyn Pape Cowan, Ph.D. When parents are so focused on their children that they don't have the time or energy to relate as a couple, he notes, they're more likely to grow discontented. Kids can pick up on the unhappiness and feel insecure about family unity; that anxiety could lead to problems such as depression or aggression. And when adults pour their attention into their children instead of their spouses, the balance of power is skewed. "Kids end up thinking they're the center of the universe," says Code, "and might act selfishly and manipulatively."

First rule: Start small. With a routine already in place breaking away from it can be difficult. It’s about starting small and making the most out of your time together. It doesn’t have to be a dramatic change at once. Consider things like waking up fifteen minutes earlier to chat over coffee or go to bed at the same time.

Have kid-free conversations. When you are out together save the talk about the kids for later. Be all about the relationship.

Stay in touch during the day. With the many ways of communication today it is easy to stay in contact. Send sweet emails, or text throughout the day to express your love for them.

Try new things together. It allows quality alone time together, without the pressure of scintillating conversation about life or the kids.

Indulge in PDA- Affection keeps you connected and demonstrate to the kids an important part of your marriage. As a result you are modeling what a good relationship is like.

Make pleasure a priority-  Dr. Hutcherson says "I tell patients to hold hands or

 spoon when they fall asleep. The pleasure chemicals released from skin-to-skin contact bond you." Spontaneity is fun, but if you are realistic and plan for intimacy, at least you know you’ll have it. Intimacy is a fundamental part of having a happy and healthy relationship and should be incorporated into your routine as such.

Don’t be a martyr. Ask your partner to their share of house work means you will be less tired, less resentful, and more amped for intimacy. 

How To Guide: To Getting The Home Life You've Dreamed Of

You see the perfect families on TV and dream to have a family like that one day. Where the children are God sent angels, the wife is Susie Homemaker, and the house is finely decorated. Upon realizing every family situation is different, you can learn to create your ideal family unit of your own. Below are some tips to help you doing so:

1. Be affectionate- Love and affection creates bonding, which promotes a healthier closer family unit. Love also allows one to feel a sense of belong and have higher self-esteem.

2. Deposit the qualities into your relationship that you wish to withdraw- This is essentially leading by example. If you want your husband and children to act out of love and kindness, you give them the love and kindness expected of them.

3. Communicate- Communication is key in any relationship. Talk often with your spouse so that you both can stay on the same page with the dealings of your family. Communicate with your children so they can learn what is expected of them and what their boundaries are.

4. Tend to your own life- An old saying is a happy wife, a happy life. Too often parents lose themselves in the shadow of their families. To take care of your family the best way you can, you have to first take care of yourself the best way you can. Take time for you and treat yourself.

5. Live in the moment- you can’t press rewind on their childhood, enjoy the now. If the house is a mess, take the time to play a cleaning up game instead of fussing about it.

6. Appreciate each other- it’s the little things that can make or break our level of coping. Small gestures go a long way. Take the time to appreciate the smaller things and watch how much more your mood elevates

7. Give yourself time to think- When you find yourself upset or furious in a situation. It is ok to ask everyone to go to their rooms or for you to even go to yours. Give yourself time to cool down, and evaluate the best way to handle the situation. That way you are handling things logically and not emotionally.

8. Create tradition- traditions gives children a sense of belonging and identity. Additionally, It gives them something to look forward to, as well as consistency.

What are some tips that you implement in your home that keeps your family happy? Comment below or post on our facebook page or tweet us at @newvisioncc

The Power of Praise

“Wow, your hair looks amazing today!” “Honey, the dinner you cooked was fantastic!” or “Jim, that was an excellent report you gave at the meeting!” The power of praise can take your relationships to elevating new levels. Life is all about relationships, and to have any type of successful relationship one should utilize the art of praise.

There is power in praising people. It’s no secret that one can get more with honey than vinegar. Praise is all about focusing on the positive, and it is generally a win-win proposition.  It builds connections, helps people feel appreciated, and let’s people know you are paying attention.

Giving praise does not just benefit the person you gave the compliment too, it benefits you as well.  The impact that you can make on someone, simply from the way you interact with them is enormous. It could be as simple as saying something genuine to make someone smile, which causes them to be happy. Their happiness you brought upon could lead to them liking you more, or being more receptive to helping you. The investment of compliments usually reaps over a thousand fold. The more positive you put out, the more positive comes your way.  Anyone who understands the theory pay it forward, can attest to that.

Giving praise requires paying attention to detail and finding the good in situations. By doing so you are changing your frame of thought to positivity. Positivity determines if your glass is half full. My challenge to you is to find the positive in spouse, co-workers, and children. If you feel you can’t find something, then keep looking. Even if it is something small, make an effort to give praise.

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

The Secret You Didn't Know About Your Friends

Friendship Colours defines a friend as, the one who are always there with you, whether the times are bad or good. They never leave your side, even if the situation is worst. For them, it doesn't matter what day is it or what season. When we are sad, its our friends only who make us comfort, and laugh with us when we are sad. They give us good advice, and we can count on them to treat us nice. Friends solve our stupid problem and share good time so that joy can become double.

One of the most important yet least understood relationships are friendships. As one becomes an adult, the demanding activities of life often take away from the time once belonged to bonding to your closest buddies. However, friendships are crucial to the sustaining healthy living.

There are several benefits to friendships. Mayo Clinic describes some of the benefits as:

Friends help you celebrate good times and are your support system during the bad times

Friends increase your sense of belonging and purpose

Friends boost your happiness

Friends can help reduce stress

Friends improve your self worth

They help you cope with trauma

They encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy life styles

When it comes to friendships the quality of friends are much more important than the quantity. Some people prefer a large social network while others prefer a small group of close friends and acquaintances. There are four different types of friendships: Work friendships, community friends, acquaintances, and best friends. All serve a different role and are all equally important in your life.

The Gallup Organizations’s director, Tom Rath, undertook a massive study of friendship and found some surprising statistics: if your best friend eats healthily, you are five times more likely to have a healthy diet yourself. Married people say friendship is more than five times as important as physical intimacy within marriage. Those who say they have no real friends at work have only a one in 12 chance of feeling engaged in their job. Conversely, if you have a “best friend at work”, you are seven times more likely to feel engaged in your job.

Consider taking the time to sit down and take audit of the people in your life and their purpose. Reflect upon if you have healthy friendships and if you need to eliminate toxic ones. Determine if you need to expand yourself to create more relationships. True friendships require time and commitment, and sincerity.

British writer Mark Vernon writes that a close friend is a mirror of your own self, someone with whom you realize that, though autonomous, you are not alone. So although you may be busy with the daily operations of your life, career, and family, utilize time management to create and nurture the friends in your life. These bonds you cultivate can enhance and save your life. 

Are You Independent?

Happy 4th of July - 

How Independent Are You?

Tips to Become Independent

Written by: -Mark Goulston, M.D., F.A.P.A. 

Fourth of July is a great time of year to ask yourself, how independent are you? Are you Dependent, Pseudo-independent or Independent?

Dependent: You're needy. You lean on and on top of people. You try to get other people to take on your problems as their responsibility to fix. You've got the kiss of death with regard to personal and professional relationships. You need to stand up and grow up.

Pseudo-independent: You act un-needy, but you're really prideful, don't believe anyone else will do it right and don't want to be beholding to anyone. You can't really do life without other people. Your "empire" is no more than a glass menagerie, but as long as you don't see it that way, it doesn't seem to matter to you that everyone else does.

Independent: You are needful. You lean into people. You get input from others, but keep your problems as your responsibility. You are mature enough to realize that until you can be effectively interdependent, you can't be independent.

How to Become Independent

Bottom of Form

The measure of true independence is how self-reliant, resourceful and coachable you are.
I work with many successful CEO's, executives, senior managers to become even more successful. Something they have in common and in spades are self-reliance, resourcefulness and coachability.

Self-reliance means that their default mode is to be responsible and take on increasing responsibility to further their companies, their teamsand their missions. They don't pass the buck, make excuses or stay submerged in indecisiveness.

Resourcefulness means that they are clear about the resources they need to accomplish their goals and are not hesitant in accessing those resources. They are also reciprocators by nature, meaning they don't take others' effort for granted and give back to those who help them out.

Coachability means they seek, listen to and act upon solid, relevant input from others (even the greatest athletes have coaches their entire careers). In realizing the value of such coaching they have learned to also be great coaches to their people. They are NOT "know-it-alls," but are constantly seeking to know all of it so they can make the best decisions.

The more self-reliant, resourceful and coachable you and your children are, the better your and their lives. The less you and they are of each of those (and the more you are overly dependent or act like "know-it-alls"), the worse your and their lives and more miserable you and they will be.

Have a conversation with your kids about what being independent means to them. After they answer it, ask them what they think about about the notions of being self-reliant (translate it to being able to depend on yourself), resourceful (translate it to being able to come up with solutions and the best help for problems they may face) and coachable (translate it to being able to find the best people to give them the best advice to help them do whatever they want to do).

Meditation: The Ultimate Mental Detox

Meditation is the practice of turning your attention to a single point of reference. It involves focusing on breathing or on a word known as a mantra. Meditation is deceptively easy. It’s simply, training yourself to turn your attention away from distracting thoughts and focus on the moment.

There are several benefits to meditating. Studies link meditation to reducing stress, blood pressure, heart attacks, and strokes to increasing one’s cognition and creativity. Additionally, meditation decreases our need for sleep by heightening our concentration, allowing us to be more productive. Many believe they have to spend several hours a day sitting in the lotus flower positive to receive meditation benefits. You can achieve meditation benefits in as little as 10 minutes. Here’s how:

Picture: The Joy of Living Centre

The key to mediation is to be mindfully aware of your breathing. Ronald Alexander, Ph.d recommends to do this you must breathe in through your nose for a count of three, hold for three, and then out through your mouth for three.  The first step is to identify the negative emotion you are feeling so as you focus on your breathing ask yourself, “What am I experiencing?”  Once you can answer this question with, “I am feeling anger, impatience, irritability, frustration or even fear” after your next in breath when you hold for three replace that unwholesome statement with a positive one.  For example if you are standing in a long line that is moving very slowly and feeling frustrated, focus on your breathing and replace the frustration with, “I am feeling compassion.” Keep repeating the breathing, hold and statement until you can feel all the negative emotions release from your body and mind.

Even in total silence you find that you are completely distracted. Your mind is running faster than Olympic track meet. Don’t give up or get mad at yourself. Meditation can take practice, determination, and dedication. When you find yourself drifting off into your thoughts going 90 miles per hour, simply return back to your breathing. As a result, you can meditate anywhere, anytime. Just focus on your breathing, prayer word, or mantra.

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

Finding Forgiveness After Infedility

You found out your partner cheated. You still love them, care for them, want to support them, and most importantly you want to forgive them. But you do not know how. They have apologized over and over, and promised it would never happen again, and that the other person meant nothing to them. You interrogate them on each and every detail of the event. You continuously question them and yourself on why they did it and what the other person had over you. Your mind wanders what they are doing when they are not around. You constantly replay the infidelity in your mind.  This takes a toll on you emotionally and physically. Consequently, you become distanced and less attracted to your partner. If you can identify with these feelings, you are struggling with forgiveness.

Infidelity can destroy one of the greatest foundations of a relationship, trust. Without trust a relationship is robbed of all its fundamentals and become an unhealthy struggle. When you want to forgive infidelity, you have to want to without any doubt.  As the saying says, “when in doubt, don’t.” Deciding to forgive infidelity means you are setting aside whatever your partner has done wrong; you decide to start over by offering trust in an attempt to save your relationship. This can be very difficult to do, but with hard work it is very possible.

Forgiveness is defined as “to excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon; to renounce anger or resentment against.” Forgiveness most importantly is a gift to yourself. It does not mean you have to forget and it is not condoning the behavior. It is simply relieving yourself of the burden of the past.

1. The first step is trying to forgive. It is a process to forgive and is something you must do more than once. It is like a journey a baby makes from walking to crawling. A baby falls hundreds of times before walking. Yet, every effort and attempt is rewarded and extremely significant.

2.  Accept what was done. You cannot change it, it was in the past. What’s done is done.

3. Identify your emotions. How are you feeling? Angry, disappointed, betrayed? Talk to someone about them so you can begin processing them.

4. The next and most important step is communication. Decide if your relationship is worth saving. If it is:

• Set out an agenda to work on one issue at a time
• Address your emotions
• Communicate your needs: i.e what you need from your partner to build back trust, consider setting rules

Infidelity creates damage and wounds, and like any wound it takes time to heal. Remember, forgiveness is not for the other person. It is for your happiness, peace of mind, and health. When you stress, the body release powerful chemicals that are essential to your survival in highly stressful situations. Oftentimes the result of stress is depression.

If you and your partner are experiencing infidelity, trust issues, forgiveness, or anything of the latter please call us at New Vision Counseling Center. We have highly experienced couples counselors. We are here to help you work through your relationship problems.

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

Steal The Spotlight Wherever You Are

Have you seen those movies where someone walks in the room, and the music suddenly stops, and all heads turn to stare with eyes of awe? What is it about that person that makes them so captivating and alluring? Why is that “IT” girl or “bad boy” desired by most? It all boils down to one thing, confidence. These type of people love and believe in themselves, and their abilities. Do you think if that same “IT” girl or “bad boy” walked around with their heads low and thought they were losers, and did not care about themselves, they would still have the same amount of admirers? Not likely. Luckily, confidence can be learned and built.

Sure, low confidence and self-esteem can be deteriorated through negative life’s events such as losing your job, physical ailments or illnesses, discrimination, or physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. Sometimes the causes of low confidence are deeply rooted and can go back to childhood experiences. If this is a problem for you, speak with one of our highly trained Licensed Professional Counselors at New Vision Counseling Center. Therapy can allow you to discover the root of what is causing you to have low confidence. As a result, your therapist can guide you into unveiling the confident person you are meant to be.

Here are ten instant ways to learn and build high self-esteem and confidence.

1. Think positively about yourself. Write down your great traits and accomplishments and review them routinely.
2. Dress in clothes that make you feel good about yourself.
3. Pay attention to your personal hygiene. Take care of your hair, nails, and teeth.
4. Eat a healthy balanced diet. It starts from the inside out. What you put into your body exudes on the outside.
5. Exercise regularly, at least three times a week.
6. Get enough sleep.
7. Manage your stress, and eliminate unnecessary stress factors. Stress takes a toll on your body and your emotions.
8. Set a realistic goal and achieve it! This is an instant confidence booster.
9. Spend time with friends and loved ones. Attempt to grow your social circle.
10. Most importantly, avoid people, things, and places that put you down or make you feel bad about yourself.

These are simple actions that allow you to feel good. This consequently, rewires your brain to develop more self-confidence.   Your goal is to commit to these ten simple actions. You’ll be amazed at how you become more confident in yourself. Your self-perception has an enormous impact on how other perceive you. Now you will be the one turning head heads upon entering a room. 

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

Fake It Till You Make It

When you think of successful entrepreneurs, athletes, and politicians what is it about them that makes them so powerful and influential? What allows them the capability to stand out and be the best at what they do? Successful individuals as such all possess certain qualities and characteristics required to take on the responsibilities of their roles. Are these qualities and characteristics something that we are born with and already have? Or are they qualities and characteristics that we all can learn to possess? The common catchphrase “fake it till you make it” refers to acting a certain way until your desired outcome happens. It is believed that this method actually works.

Some say the way to become a fit person is to act like it. So how do you act like a fit person? You start eating healthy like a fit person, and working out like a fit person. Eventually you will become a fit person, because you are taking on the attitude, characteristics, and actions of that type of person. This reveals that the most effective way to move towards your desired change in life, is to act like you have already achieved it.

Begin acting like the person you want to become, and live the life you’ve imagined. The deciding factor in you achieving the life of your dreams, is neither what you have nor your situation, it is simply you. It can be as easy as a decision to change your state of mind or an attitude adjustment. You want to become a CEO of your company? Begin to act like the CEO. Come in to work early, leave late, work diligently, take on leadership roles, engage yourself with your co-workers, learn the business and company. It starts with you! The underlying key in all successful people boils down to one quality, trait, and characteristic, they believe in themselves.

You can start today with positive affirmations. Affirmations are statements that you hold to be true. When affirmations are done right they can change your entire life and way of thinking. Declare affirmations such as “I am the example of success” or “I am successful and prosperous in every area of my life.” Saying these affirmations, writing them, and meditating on them several times a day re-routes your conscious mind to believe them. Consequently, this creates the manifestation of them into your life.

Additionally, creating a Vision Board also progresses your steps leading to your dream life. A Vision Board is a board with images, phrases and affirmations reflecting your highest goals and dreams. Gaining popularity from the book, The Secret, Vision Boards are based off the Law of Attraction. The idea is that your thinking directly affects what the universe gives you. You think positive thoughts =you have positive outcomes. You think negative thoughts =you have negative outcomes.  The Vision Board serves to evoke positive thoughts, those thoughts evoke positive emotions, and thus those emotions stir up actions that lead to manifesting your dreams.

Today, stop wishing and start doing. Create a vision board, recite affirmations, and believe in yourself. Conduct yourself as if you are already living the life of your dreams. Fake it until you BECOME it!

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

Living or Existing. What are YOU doing?

In the daily hustle and bustle and the stressors of life it is sometimes quite easy to just "go along to get along" or to just "go with the motions". There are certain situations where I do approve the mindset of "fake it til you make it" but there are many times in life when we must be actually present; in the here and now.

A chair simply exists. It is what it is...a chair.  We are not chairs, tables or other inanimate objects. By simply existing we can miss out on the joys and happiness of life. We were created and meant to LIVE. To have a purpose, meaning, breath and life. To not only celebrate the BIG things but to also revel in the small ones.

Existing will cause us to focus on inconsequential things or things that don't or won't matter in the long run; whereas living will allow us to see the big picture, enjoy every moment and embrace the journey we're currently on.

Take some time today to assess and even reassess your life. Focus on what's been happening to you and your responses. I'm not saying to minimize things that are devastating to you or that have been painful. I'm asking you to evaluate whether or not despite those things, if you've chosen to exist or live. I'll admit, it's taken me a while to get here and some days I'd prefer to just "be". But, those are the times when I must purposefully and intentionally LIVE.

I was at a high school football honors banquet last year and the speaker, Mark Tidwell talked about living intentionally. He challenged us all to live as though we're terminal because we know the next day isn't promised. Thinking on that, it's important to make everyday count and to move from existing and just going along, to having the courage to live!

If you're ready to start living but find it difficult, counseling or talking to a trained professional may be helpful.

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

Dear Stress, Let's break up!

For me, this week has been stressful, mainly good stress that will allow me to celebrate things personally and professionally, but stressful nonetheless.  We all have moments in life that cause us to experience stress on some level. Stress, in normal, healthy doses can be a good thing. However, if you find yourself stressed to an abnormal level or an inability to cope, it may be helpful to try some stress management techniques. I've listed a few that are helpful to me.

Wash your cares away-Try taking a shower or bath. There is something refreshing and cleansing about water. The ability to control the water temperature, amount of time in the shower/bath and if you have one of those fancy shower heads, you can even control the intensity of the water (after all, a lot of stress is due to things we cannot control). Imagine your stressors going down the drain with the water. Allow yourself to exit the shower/bath refreshed, renewed and clean and free from stress.

Laughter is good for the soul-We've all heard this. Laughter not only lightens your mental load, it also causes physical changes within the body. In short, laughter increases our feel good hormones (endorphins) and can also help with muscle relaxation. So, watch a funny TV show, read a joke or recall a funny moment. Daily I find a "line of the day". That is something that was said either by me or someone else that tickled me and gets me through the day, sometimes longer.

Get you motor running-Yes, get up and do something! Dance, cook, exercise, sing, or shop. Just get up. Exercise does the same thing as laughing, it releases those endorphins.

Woosah-If getting up and getting out is too much, that's OK. Conversely, if you need to take a break and breather, do so! Take a nap, relax quietly in a dark room or meditate on peaceful and relaxing things.

Just use your imagination-Barney said it best, right? (I used to teach preschool so I know QUITE a few Barney songs)!
"Close your eyes and you will find
There are pictures in your mind
Things that you can see and feel
All those things are very real
You can be most anywhere,
When your imagination takes you there"

 

Barney taught many how to use their imagination and create! In stressful instances, try some guided imagery or relaxation/deep breathing exercises. Imagine yourself in a calm, peaceful place. It may be a beach, a spa or your bedroom. Just somewhere that is calm, safe and relaxing to you. Monitor your breathing and allow yourself to feel calm. I'll admit, this one was very hard for me in the beginning because like most of you, I'm thinking about 1 million things at once. But, with practice, you can learn to quiet your mind and decrease your stress level.

In Don't Sweat The Small Stuff, psychotherapist, Richard Carlson says, "ask yourself this question: will this matter a year from now?" If your answer is no, start to let go of unnecessary stressors. If your answer is yes, work to learn to manage it in a healthy and adaptive manner.

If you struggle with daily stress management, counseling or talking to a trained professional may be helpful.

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

 

 

This video shows a little girl (now a teenager) named Jessica doing her daily affirmation. She is saying everything she likes and you can even hear her say, "I can do anything!". Isn't it great to have a child-like attitude; free from fear and reservation.  Jessica is doing something here that is very powerful. She is speaking to herself with confidence, fun, understanding and truth. She even jumps down and bounces away, presumably ready to tackle her day!

 

The Disney Fairy Tale, Snow White has a similar theme (well, it has several themes but we'll focus on this one). The queen possesses a magical mirror which she asks every morning: "Magic mirror in my hand, who is the fairest in that land?". (Or you may know the version, "mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all.) The mirror always replies: "My Queen, you are the fairest in that land." This pleases the Queen as the mirror doesn't lie to her.

 

When we look in the mirror, we shouldn't lie either! What's your self talk like? Do you believe in yourself? I look in the mirror often. Not from a place of vanity, but to admire things I like about myself. Some days, I may not always feel that way but I like to remind myself that I am beautiful, smart, loved, appreciated, giving, etc. With so much negativity in the world, it's refreshing to be able to hear, see and speak words of affirmation.

 

So, try it. Take a look in the mirror and be like Jessica. "I like myself, I like my hair and my haircut, I like my pajamas." What are your messages? Mirror, mirror on the wall....

 

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

Taste The Rainbow

There are two drawings on my refrigerator that are from one of my god-daughters. One picture is of a rainbow and the other is of a flower budding and one that's fully bloomed. She loves to draw and when I see her, I always ask for my "masterpiece" from her. She goes through her book of drawings and picks the perfect one for me and my husband to display!

As I was doing some work today and looking for some inspiration, I saw the rainbow and smiled! It reminded me of what's to come! For me and maybe some of you, a rainbow symbolizes God's promise to us, His covenant.  A quick Google search revealed that rainbows can also symbolize creation, a bridge, love, peace and freedom.  Even the popular Skittles candy uses a rainbow in it's marketing. Any way you look at it, there's positive connotation.

I then thought of growth when I looked at the flower picture. Everything MUST grow as it is living. Everything has a season. Sometimes we must even be "pruned" to continue to reach our maximum abilities.  One definition of pruning is: Trim (a tree, shrub, or bush) by cutting away dead or overgrown branches or stems, esp. to increase fruitfulness and growth.

The storm in your life may seem like it's F.O.R.E.V.E.R but remember that regardless of what you're going through, there will be a rainbow at the end. You- Me-We are being carefully and perfectly trimmed.

I'm comforted to be reminded that a picture IS worth a thousand words and grateful for my New Vision as I look at a picture that I've seen several times a day for at least 5 months.

*Info in this blog is strictly my (or the writer's) personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

What Will You Gain When You Lose?

I love this question and frequently use it during my counseling sessions. It's from the Special K advertisement and everytime I see the commercial, I ask myself that question. The main concept the company is addressing is by losing weight, what will you gain? It gets viewers to think about it, to see themselves in a different light. Not only will they lose weight, but they will also gain something much more meaningful to them. On the Special K website, you see women holding various signs showing what they've gained. Words like sass, assurance, delight, peace and glow adorn the page.

This is the same in common, everyday life situations. Often times we see a loss as something bad. The loss of a job or loved one, or even losing our keys or something important can cause us a great deal of stress and anguish.

But what about those things that we need to lose? What can you gain by losing low self esteem. What about losing negative self talk? Can you stand to lose out on an unhealthy relationship?

Ask yourself, "what will I gain when I lose" and then go for being a loser! It's OK!

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

What is your "It"?

 

 

When you first see the title, you’re probably confused. What does the title refer to? I actually changed it several times before settling on it.  It pertains to letting go! What are you holding on to? What is your hurt, habit or hang up that you are struggling to release? What is your “it”? What do you need to let go of?

At times, many of us struggle with holding on to things, be it people, places or situations that we need to simply let go of.  These things may be holding us back or preventing us from receiving what is next for us.  It may be a relationship, a dead end job, low self-esteem, negative self-talk, anger and hurt. Letting go simply involves making a choice to move from your situation, be it past or current and embrace your future.   Whatever your “IT” is, make a choice today to give it to a power much higher and greater than us and…LET IT GO!

 

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

Under Construction: Detour Here

What do you mean, “road closed”, follow detour? This is the road you’ve always taken to get you from point A to point B.  Now, you feel confused, maybe even frustrated. You’re contemplating turning around just going back home. After all, who has the time to get lost or delayed? If you live in the metro Atlanta area, you may see detour signs more often than you’d like to!

Isn't that just like life.  Sometimes we’re on a path, simply taking it because that’s the way we’ve always gone! This is the way we know to go.  However, at times, life requires detours.  Our paths have to be altered in order to get us where we need to be. We need to be “under construction”.  This is the only way to make our good, better and our better, best!

If you’re struggling with life detours, counseling and talking to a trained professional may help. Contact New Vision Counseling Center, LLC and allow us to help you reach your life’s destiny!

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

New Vision Accepts Insurance as well as self paying clients

At New Vision Counseling Center, LLC, we believe that therapy should be for those who need it, not just those who can afford it. We pride ourselves in the quality services we offer. Not only do we have evening and weekend hours at both of our locations, we also accept insurance as either an in network or out of network provider.

For those who do not have insurance, or chose not to use their insurance, we have very affordable fees. All of our clinicians are licensed, many with extra credentials and specialty areas. We offer intern rates (under supervision and direction of a fully licensed clinician) and associate level clinician rates to assist clients in receiving quality services, while remaining within their budget.

Don't let money hinder you from obtaining a "New Vision" and becoming the person you're destined to be.

Happy New Year!

From all of us at New Vision Counseling Center, LLC, Happy New Year to you and your family. Make your 2013, better than 2012!