Monday, January 25, 2016

How To Stop Agonizing And Conquer Your Goals

“Dare to dream! If you did not have the capability to make your wildest wishes come true, your mind would not have the capacity to conjure such ideas in the first place. There is no limitation on what you can potentially achieve, except for the limitation you choose to impose on your own imagination. What you believe to be possible will always come to pass - to the extent that you deem it possible. It really is as simple as that.” -  Anthon St. Maarten

This is the final edition to my month long blog series about setting goals using the S.M.A.R.T. method. I hope you have not only learned from my post but actually committed to making your goals SMART.

Subscribe to my blog post so you won’t miss next month’s series, love and relationships.

In today’s post I will be going over the last letter in the S.M.A.R.T. goals method. At the end of this post I will provide an example of a goal in its completion using this method.

I would love for you to share your SMART goal with me by leaving a comment below.

I have enjoyed teaching about goal setting this month. While teaching you I also taught myself more about crafting my goals better so that I will achieve them.

Has it done the same for you?

Let’s begin crafting the last portion of your S.M.A.R.T. goals, Time-Bound.

Don’t forget your S.M.A.R.T. goals worksheet.

This portion of goal setting refers to setting your goals in a time frame giving them a sense of urgency. By setting a specific date on which your goals should be achieved you do not let life get in the way of achieving your goals. In my last blog post I gave in my example how to set a specific date for completing your goals.

Bad Example: I am going to lose 20lbs this year.

Good Example: I am going to lose 20lbs by this year. I will be starting my diet on May 1, 2016 and I will have lost 20lbs by August 12, 2016.   

By setting a specific date you begin to subconsciously place more value and importance on this goal because you have given yourself a deadline.

I have completed explaining how to craft your goals using the S.M.A.R.T. goal setting method.

Have you understood how to implement this new strategy of goal setting?

I will now give you one last example using all five letters of the S.M.A.R.T. goal.

Bad Example: I want to lose 20lbs pounds this year so I can fit into my bikini this summer when I go to the beach.
Good Example: Starting on January 1, 2016 I am going to start my diet so that I will lose 20lbs in order to fit into a bikini when I go the Bahamas. I can just envision myself walking along the beach with no self-doubt, fear or shame. I will be confident once again in my own body and my self-awareness will improve. I will begin my diet by changing my eating habits following the Weight Watchers diet plan. I will start walking three times a week for at least 30 minutes and toning twice a week for 15 minutes each session doing upper body one day and lower body the next day. I will have lost 20lbs by May 23, 2016 and I will be able to fit into my size 8 bikini.

See the difference in the two examples?

The first example is just a vague statement and when reading it doesn’t invoke any excitement, urgency or importance. In the next example however, you have a vision of how your life will be when you lose 20lbs and you have an executable plan of action to follow.

As I bring this blog post to a close I want to thank you for reading.

I cannot say enough how I hope you not only got value out of this but also that you implement the strategies that you have learned.

Leave me a comment below and tell me your thoughts. I would love to hear your feedback.

P.S. Subscribe to my blog post so you won’t miss next month’s subject. In honor of Valentine’s Day all month long I will be discussing love and relationship. In one of my post I will be revealing how to use a certain type of sex method to build a stronger spiritual bond with your partner. Subscribe now to find out what it is, next month.


Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Easy Steps To Attain Your Goals And Get Results

"You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about. By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands - your own.”- Mark Victor Hansen

All month long I have been discussing how to set goals this year using a method that will increase your chances of achieving your goals.

I began this month by having you complete a dream sheet which helped you to release all of your hopes and dreams out of your head and onto paper so that you can see them and meditate on them.

Then we began crafting those hopes and dreams into S.M.A.R.T. goals using the S.M.A.R.T. goals worksheet.

How has your goal setting perspective changed?

Today we will continue using the S.M.A.R.T. goals worksheet focusing on the “A” and the “R” to craft another portion of your goals. In this post we will make your goals Attainable so that you can begin seeing Results.

Are you ready to begin?

  • Attainable Goal Setting
           This portion of goal setting refers to the importance of your goals and if they are realistic. You shouldn’t create a goal that is far from realistic, I will give an example later on in this post. The main thing to remember when making your goals attainable is that they should be challenging and take you outside of your comfort zone but no out of reach.

  • Result-Oriented Goal Setting
           This portion of goal setting refers to making your goals relevant and results-oriented, meaning it should move you closer to the vision of your ideal life. A goal should support your vision of what you want your life to be like once you achieve your goals. In this section you should be asking yourself the question what result do I hope to achieve from meeting my goals.

Now, I am going to give you examples of each.


Bad Example: Even though I have no formal education I am going to pursue a career as a biochemical engineer.

Good Example: I want to change my career to become a biochemical engineer. Therefore I am going to go to school to obtain the necessary credentials and experience in order to pursue this career.


Bad Example: I am going to apply for a job as a biochemical engineer and hope for the best.

Good Example: Once I finish my degree as a biochemical engineer in June 31, 2017 I will begin my new career by finding a new job which I plan on securing by September 24, 2017.
In the examples provided I show you how your SMART goals are aligned with your life vision and how they are results oriented. You want to establish your goals with an end-game in mind and by giving yourself a deadline, you are more likely to continue pursuing your goals until you achieve them.

Is the light bulb going off in your head?

Your homework for this week is to take the hopes and dreams from your dream sheet and take the goals your crafted last week using the S.M.A.R.T. worksheet and incorporate the new strategies of Attainability and Results-Oriented into the goals to make them more complete.

By the end of this week your goals should be near completion.  

If you continue to follow this method of goal setting you will increase your chances of achieving all of your goals.

Subscribe to my blog so you won’t miss next week's post where we will begin working on the Time-Bound section of crafting your goals. This will be the final installment of our goal setting methods before we put everything all together.

Also, leave me a comment or ask me any questions in the comment section below. I would love to hear your feedback.

I hope you got a lot of value out of this post. Please share with your friends.
*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

Monday, January 11, 2016

The SMART Way To Craft Your Goals

Failure to plan is planning to fail.

 In order to achieve your goals you must have a clear plan of action.

In my last blog post How To Set Goals And Achieve Them, I discussed setting your goals up properly in order to accomplish them. In that post I included a dream sheet for you to complete.
Did you find completing the dream sheet to be an eye opening exercise?

Now that you have completed your dream sheet, we are going to take those hopes and dreams and turn them into tangible goals by making them S.M.A.R.T. (Specific/Strategic, Measurable, Attainable/Achievable, Results Oriented and Time Bound).

In today’s post we will be dealing only with the specific and measurable aspects of your goals.

In order to do this correctly, download my S.M.A.R.T. goals worksheet here.
Let’s begin by breaking down what this all means.

·         Specific/Strategic Goal Setting

           This portion of goal setting stresses specificity rather than vague and obscure. Meaning your goals need to be clean and unambiguous. In order to make them specific, it needs to be obvious what is expected so there is a clear understanding of the target. The strategic refers to the reason it’s important and what’s involved.

 ·         Measurable Goal Setting

           This portion of goal setting stresses the need for concrete criteria to measure your progress towards the attainment of your goals. If your goals aren’t measurable, they seem unattainable. If you can track your progress it helps you to move further along to completion.

Does this make sense to you?

Let’s begin crafting your goals.

We will only be working with the “S” and the “M” today.

Subscribe to my blog and you won’t miss next week’s discussion on how to craft your goals to make them attainable/achievable and realistic.

Here are examples of goals crafted using specific/strategic and measurable language.


 Bad Example: Find a new job.

Good Example:  Obtain a new job as a 10th grade math teacher at XYZ high school in Anytown, USA so that I can show the children that math is a life skill which is fun and easy to learn.


Bad Example: I am going to do whatever it takes to get a new job.
Good Example: In order to obtain my new teaching job as a 10th grade math teacher in XYZ high school in Anytown, USA I am going to complete an online job application, I am going to attend the district’s and the school’s job fair. I am going to begin networking with teachers at XYZ school and in my free time volunteer so that I can showcase my skills and desire to be apart of the teaching team at XYZ school.

Do you see the difference in those examples?

The bad examples are vague and don’t seem well thought out. In fact they seem more like passing thoughts than actual goals. Whereas the good examples are clear and detailed. You can read those goals and understand exactly which path you will take.

Are you starting to catch on? Do you see how this style of goal setting is better than your average style of goal setting?


 So your homework for this week is to grab your copy of the S.M.A.R.T. goal sheet and complete the Specific/Strategic and Measurable sections.

If you continue to follow this method of goal setting you will increase your chances of achieving all of your goals.

Subscribe to my blog so you won’t miss next week's post where we will begin working on the Attainable/Achievable and Results Oriented sections.

 Also, leave me a comment or ask me any questions in the comment section below. I would love to hear your feedback.

I hope you got a lot of value out of this post. Please share with your friends.

Thursday, January 7, 2016

How To Set Goals And Achieve Them


“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible to the visible.” Tony Robbins.

Do you set goals each New Year? How many of those goals do you accomplish?

Have you ever wondered why your momentum loses steam and you never reach your goals?

Would you like to learn a system of goal setting that will help you stay committed and on track to reaching your goals this year?

This month is going to be all about goal setting, how to do it properly and how to follow through. We can set goals all day long but if we don’t follow through they are just thoughts in our head.

I am no different from you, each year I set goals and in the past I haven’t always stayed committed to reaching my goals, that is until I found a method of goal setting that I will be sharing with you today.

One of the problems with goal setting is that most people confuse hopes and dreams with goals. A study done by the University of Scranton in the Journal of Clinical Psychology found that 50% of the U.S. population sets goals each new year but only an astounding 8% of that population achieves their goals.  

The method of goal setting that I will be sharing with you this month will help to increase the likelihood that you will meet all the goals you set for yourself this year.

Goal Setting Method - Step 1

The first step is to create a dream sheet. Complete this dream sheet and keep it with you because we will be using this all month long to create your goals for the New Year.

In the dream sheet you will find four sections…

     ·         Have

In this section list all the things you would like to have. Imagine that you have accomplished all of your goals and begin listing the things you will have as a result of accomplishing your goals. For example, you have a goal of finding a better paying job, so now that you have found a better paying job what do you have? Do you have a new car? What kind? A new house? Where? Are you kids in a better school? Which one? etc. List everything, use your imagination, this is why it is called a dream sheet. You are only limited by your imagination.

   ·         Being

What type of person will you be now that you have found a better paying job? Will you be a more active PTA member at your children’s school? Will you be a better investor? Will you be someone who shops more or go out more with your friends?      

·         Doing                                                                                                                               

What will you be doing now that you have found a better paying job? Will you be traveling more? Will you be working from home more? Will you be going back to school?

 ·         Top Priorities

Prioritize your list from 1-3 with 1 being of the utmost importance and 3 being the least important.

 Once you’ve determined your most important goals take all of your “1s” and list them from 1-5 with 1 being the goal that you are most determined to achieve and 5 being the least.       

One of the main reasons people don’t achieve their goals is because they are not crystal clear about their goals, they have a vague sense of what they want to accomplish but no definitive plan.

By completing this dream sheet you will be one step closer to achieving all the goals you will set for this year.

 In next week’s post we are going to discuss how to break down your highest ranking goals into actionable items so you don’t want to miss it. Go ahead, if you haven’t already done so and subscribe to my blog so you don’t miss anything this month. It’s going to be powerful and valuable.

If you haven’t already grab your dream sheet now, complete it, and store it somewhere safe. As I mentioned before you will be using it all month long to define your goals and ultimately achieve them.


Friday, January 1, 2016

Navigating The Holidays With Children After Divorce

Divorce at anytime is difficult. Even if you are “consciously uncoupling” as Gwyneth Paltrow puts it, leaving a familiar life behind to embark on a new one is scary and stressful.

When you factor in your children’s emotions and separation anxiety it can become downright depressing.

However, there is light at the end of the tunnel and as you begin your new journey, your children will eventually adapt. But you must be vigilant in your quest to make this transition as smooth for your children as possible.

Methods To Navigate The Holidays After A Divorce With Children

    Let Go Of The Anger
Children love both parents and so are loyal to you both. Don’t let your anger spill over into your child’s view of their parent. Everyone suffers after a divorce but the more you hold on to your anger the more it will consume you. Instead spend the time with your children being grateful for the unconditional love they offer.

   Split Time Gracefully
It will be hard being alone for the first time during the holidays since divorcing. If you are the primary parent don’t begrudge your children’s excitement to spend time with the secondary parent because of your unwillingness to be alone. Children have a right and a need to spend joyous quality time with both parents. So encourage their enthusiasm and don’t battle with your ex about small details like the children being brought back at 2:00 instead of noon.

Create New Traditions
If you can no longer do the things you did when you were married with your children because it renews your hurt and anger, then create new traditions.  Creating new traditions will help to make new pleasant post divorce memories. If when you were married, you picked out a tree on Thanksgiving, pick out a tree earlier or later. If you made holiday cookies together as a family, try making something different like brownies. Maybe instead of staying home take a trip. Making new traditions helps to heal the wounds of losing what once was.

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

Coping With The Loss Of A Loved One During The Holidays

Losing a loved one, no matter the circumstances is never easy, losing a loved one around the holidays can be especially difficult because the holidays are a time dedicated to being with loved ones.

Recently famous television celebrity Kristin Cavallari lost her 30 year old brother, tragically, suddenly and without warning.  She went public with her lost by posting baby photos of her and her brother side by side and writing,  "My heart is in a million pieces. Mikey, I could always count on you to make me laugh. You had such a good heart and will be forever missed. I'm at a loss for words but I know u are in a better place and finally at peace. I love u so much RIP."

Although this seems like this should be a private moment for her, sometimes the best way to deal with the lost of a loved one is to share your feelings with others.

If you are struggling with your grief for the lost of a loved one during this holiday season, here are a few things you can do to make your grief more bearable.

Steps To Cope With The Loss Of A Loved One During The Holidays

Share your feelings publicly:
Take a page from Kristin Cavallari’s book and share your feelings of grief with others. These other people could be your family members, your friends, or even a chat room dedicated to the topic. The point is to not internalize your grief and try to deal with it on your own. Grief is a natural part of acceptance and healing and by sharing it with others helps you to release your pain.

Take The Time To Grieve:
It is not necessary to force yourself to be cheerful during the holiday season if you are not feeling up to it. Allow yourself time to cry and to have quiet time. Don’t feel the need to act as if your grief is not relevant or allowed just because it is the holidays. However, don’t get so lost in your grief that you forget to live and to smile every once in a while. Don’t feel guilty for finding some pleasure during your grief.

Do For Others:
While you are grieving get into the holiday spirit of giving and doing for others. It has been scientifically proven that when we give and help others it also helps our mood and attitude. Therefore use this time to volunteer your time to a nursing home, a food bank, or a children’s hospital. This will not only help you to momentarily forget your grief but it will help someone else to also momentarily forget their pain and trouble.