Navigating The Holidays With Children After Divorce

 

Divorce at anytime is difficult. Even if you are “consciously uncoupling” as Gwyneth Paltrow puts it, leaving a familiar life behind to embark on a new one is scary and stressful.

When you factor in your children’s emotions and separation anxiety it can become downright depressing.

However, there is light at the end of the tunnel and as you begin your new journey, your children will eventually adapt. But you must be vigilant in your quest to make this transition as smooth for your children as possible.

Methods To Navigate The Holidays After A Divorce With Children

 

    Let Go Of The Anger

Children love both parents and so are loyal to you both. Don’t let your anger spill over into your child’s view of their parent. Everyone suffers after a divorce but the more you hold on to your anger the more it will consume you. Instead spend the time with your children being grateful for the unconditional love they offer.

 

   Split Time Gracefully

It will be hard being alone for the first time during the holidays since divorcing. If you are the primary parent don’t begrudge your children’s excitement to spend time with the secondary parent because of your unwillingness to be alone. Children have a right and a need to spend joyous quality time with both parents. So encourage their enthusiasm and don’t battle with your ex about small details like the children being brought back at 2:00 instead of noon.

 

Create New Traditions
If you can no longer do the things you did when you were married with your children because it renews your hurt and anger, then create new traditions.  Creating new traditions will help to make new pleasant post divorce memories. If when you were married, you picked out a tree on Thanksgiving, pick out a tree earlier or later. If you made holiday cookies together as a family, try making something different like brownies. Maybe instead of staying home take a trip. Making new traditions helps to heal the wounds of losing what once was.


*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*