Is Couples Therapy Helpful?

Is Couples Therapy Helpful? I get this question a lot. Many of my clients feel their relationship is beyond repair. They wonder if therapy can help repair the damage. This question can be answered in two parts.

Yes

Couples therapy can be helpful if:

1. The couple is open to therapy
2. The couple  mutually wants to save their marriage
3. The couple is willing to change if need be

No

Couples therapy is not helpful if:

1. The couple is not open to therapy
2. The couple does not mutually want to save their marriage
3. The couple is unwilling to change if need be

To put things into perspective here are some statistics about the impact couples therapy can have.

•  98% of people surveyed said they received good or excellent couples therapy
•  97% of those surveyed said they got the help they needed
• 93% of those surveyed said they got the tools they needed after working with a couples therapist

On the other hand...

•  25% of people surveyed reported their marriage was worse 2 years after couples therapy
• 38% of people surveyed reported their marriage ended in divorce 4 years after couples therapy

Now let's put this in perspective.

Couples therapy is helpful whether the marriage last or ends in divorce. And here's why...

• Couples therapy helps identify the root causes of friction in the marriage
• Couples therapy gives a safe place to talk truthfully
• Couples therapy gives the necessary tools to make the marriage work
• Couples therapy shines a light on any incompatibility in the relationship

The last bullet point is extremely vital when asking the question, is couples therapy helpful.

People assume if they go to therapy and the marriage ends in divorce, then couples therapy was not helpful. But look at it this way. Couples therapy gives you the insight and the courage to know when to let go. Then you can begin to find the happiness that you have been lacking. Even if the marriage ends in divorce, if there are children from the union, couples and family therapy can help the children with the transition. This can help the divorce from becoming a bitter battle of hurt.

So...

Is Couples Therapy Helpful?

I would have to say yes. Couples therapy can open up the lines of communication that were once closed. They can help a couple remember why they fell in love in the fist place. It can also help couples heal from any wounds or misdeeds that has happened before or during the marriage. It can also help the couples amicably part ways if they decide.

If you are in need of couples therapy, contact New Vision Counseling Center to set up an appointment.

Navigating The Holidays With Children After Divorce

 

Divorce at anytime is difficult. Even if you are “consciously uncoupling” as Gwyneth Paltrow puts it, leaving a familiar life behind to embark on a new one is scary and stressful.

When you factor in your children’s emotions and separation anxiety it can become downright depressing.

However, there is light at the end of the tunnel and as you begin your new journey, your children will eventually adapt. But you must be vigilant in your quest to make this transition as smooth for your children as possible.

Methods To Navigate The Holidays After A Divorce With Children

 

    Let Go Of The Anger

Children love both parents and so are loyal to you both. Don’t let your anger spill over into your child’s view of their parent. Everyone suffers after a divorce but the more you hold on to your anger the more it will consume you. Instead spend the time with your children being grateful for the unconditional love they offer.

 

   Split Time Gracefully

It will be hard being alone for the first time during the holidays since divorcing. If you are the primary parent don’t begrudge your children’s excitement to spend time with the secondary parent because of your unwillingness to be alone. Children have a right and a need to spend joyous quality time with both parents. So encourage their enthusiasm and don’t battle with your ex about small details like the children being brought back at 2:00 instead of noon.

 

Create New Traditions
If you can no longer do the things you did when you were married with your children because it renews your hurt and anger, then create new traditions.  Creating new traditions will help to make new pleasant post divorce memories. If when you were married, you picked out a tree on Thanksgiving, pick out a tree earlier or later. If you made holiday cookies together as a family, try making something different like brownies. Maybe instead of staying home take a trip. Making new traditions helps to heal the wounds of losing what once was.


*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*