What is your "It"?

 

 

When you first see the title, you’re probably confused. What does the title refer to? I actually changed it several times before settling on it.  It pertains to letting go! What are you holding on to? What is your hurt, habit or hang up that you are struggling to release? What is your “it”? What do you need to let go of?

At times, many of us struggle with holding on to things, be it people, places or situations that we need to simply let go of.  These things may be holding us back or preventing us from receiving what is next for us.  It may be a relationship, a dead end job, low self-esteem, negative self-talk, anger and hurt. Letting go simply involves making a choice to move from your situation, be it past or current and embrace your future.   Whatever your “IT” is, make a choice today to give it to a power much higher and greater than us and…LET IT GO!

 

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

Are you emotionally paralyzed?

The English dictionary defines paralysis as “loss of voluntary movement as a result of damage to nerve or muscle function” and “failure to take action or make progress”. People often think of physical paralysis when they hear the word paralyzed. But this can take place emotionally as well. As individuals, we may have been hurt emotionally. Hurt due to rejection, abandonment, lack of emotional support, criticism, abuse, etc. This causes emotional damage, which can result in lack of progress in our lives.

Ever wonder why sometimes women are so bitter/cold towards each other? Why some women, even teenage girls often say they prefer male friendships over female?  Or why some men have difficulty committing in relationships? It’s easier to distance ourselves or remain detached than to risk being hurt again.  Anger is sometimes used as a shield to protect us from feeling vulnerable.  When an individual has difficulty forming meaningful relationships, there may be an underlying fear. It is scary to consider exposing your true feelings and risk experiencing that hurt again. So in turn, we become emotionally paralyzed, stagnant, and fearful of experiencing more hurt or damage. But, to remain in this emotional state prevents us from growing.

As a result, we also risk loosing the possibility of forming a loving, meaningful relationship. We risk loosing the possibility of receiving love, loving others, and loving ourselves. And there is no greater feeling than the feeling that you are loved. This holiday season, take the necessary steps to release any fear that may be hindering you from accepting love or loving others.

 

*Blog contributed by Shaketa Robinson-Bruce, LPC. Shaketa is a therapist at New Vision Counseling Center, LLC who works with children, adolescents and adults providing individual, family and couples therapy. Info in this blog is strictly the writer's personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911. To learn more about Mrs. Robinson-Bruce and the services she offers at NVCC, click here.*

Roots and Fruit: What Are You Producing?

"The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree". People say this often to describe how a child is similar to their parent. Whether it be good or bad, when this is said, we know what the quoter is implying. It is important for us to know where we come from-our roots. Knowing so will help us to better understand how we relate with others or why we may choose to engage in certain behaviors.

This doesn't mean that knowing your history will answer all of your questions, solve your problems or justify your actions, it simply allows us to gain a better grasp on ourselves; after all, we can truly only change ourselves! Here are a few examples:

Root-Growing up, your mother tells you not to depend on men because they are all worthless and will leave you. Your father reinforces this belief by not being present in your life or making empty promises.

Fruit (possible)-You tend to push men away when things get too serious in order to "leave him before he leaves me".

Root-Your parents consistently praised your efforts and accomplishments.

Fruit (possible)- You have a healthy self esteem, self confidence and instill the same values in your children.

As you can see, either of these beliefs are capable of producing a continuous cycle. So, the next time you engage in a "root" behavior, ask yourself, "what fruits am I producing?" Your answer may surprise you.

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*