Amazingly Awesome Things To Do If You Are Single On Valentine’s Day

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Single” is an opportunity to live life on your own terms and not apologize.” - Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

Every year Valentine’s Day comes around with great fanfare. The stores stock the shelves with candy, stuffed animals with hearts, and sappy love filled greeting cards. You are bombarded by television commercials of men giving jewelry to their mate and couples sharing romantic moments together.  Then there are those well-meaning friends who look at you with sadness when you tell them you will be single on Valentine’s Day.

All of a sudden your secretly coveted (by those in relationships) singlehood becomes something for which everyone pities you.  

Being single on Valentine’s Day is not a death sentence nor does it have to be depressing. The same reason you enjoyed being single before and after Valentine’s Day will still be valid on Valentine’s Day. Instead of focusing on the fact that you will not be coupled up on Valentine’s Day, take this day to show someone very special how much they are loved - you.

Here are some amazingly awesome things to do for yourself on Valentine’s Day

Send Yourself A Love Letter Or A Card
A few days before Valentine’s Day write yourself a love letter or buy a greeting card that speaks to you. In the love letter list all the things you love about you and what makes you such a special person and worthy to be loved. Put the love letter or card in the mail and mail it to yourself. When you come home on Valentine’s Day and find your love letter or greeting card waiting for you it will instantly brighten your day.
Mix And Mingle
If you have single friends hook up with them on Valentine’s Day and go somewhere fun. Go dancing, attend a play, or out to dinner. You will find that on Valentine’s Day many venues host events just for singles. You may even meet someone there who tickles your fancy. If you do, great! If you don’t, no big deal. The point is don’t think that just because you are single on Valentine’s Day that you have to stay at home feeling sorry for yourself and being ashamed that you are single. Being single can be liberating if you let it.
Treat Yourself
The great thing about being single on Valentine’s Day is that you don’t have to spend money on a gift for someone else hoping they like it. Instead you get to buy yourself something that you know you will like. If you see a stuffed teddy bear that you wish someone would buy you, then buy it for yourself. If you want to go to a certain restaurant, take yourself. Remember to enjoy your own company because no one knows or loves you like you.
There is nothing wrong with being single. Take your time finding someone with whom you want to couple. Life is too short to be unhappy just because you are trying to conform to societal norms by being in a relationship. While you are single take the time to better yourself, physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially. Being single gives you the freedom to pursue your passions without hesitation and to accomplish some major life milestones. Being single is awesome no matter the day of the year. When you are ready to be in a relationship you will be, until then, keep loving you.
*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.* 

 

 

 

Steal The Spotlight Wherever You Are

Have you seen those movies where someone walks in the room, and the music suddenly stops, and all heads turn to stare with eyes of awe? What is it about that person that makes them so captivating and alluring? Why is that “IT” girl or “bad boy” desired by most? It all boils down to one thing, confidence. These type of people love and believe in themselves, and their abilities. Do you think if that same “IT” girl or “bad boy” walked around with their heads low and thought they were losers, and did not care about themselves, they would still have the same amount of admirers? Not likely. Luckily, confidence can be learned and built.

Sure, low confidence and self-esteem can be deteriorated through negative life’s events such as losing your job, physical ailments or illnesses, discrimination, or physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. Sometimes the causes of low confidence are deeply rooted and can go back to childhood experiences. If this is a problem for you, speak with one of our highly trained Licensed Professional Counselors at New Vision Counseling Center. Therapy can allow you to discover the root of what is causing you to have low confidence. As a result, your therapist can guide you into unveiling the confident person you are meant to be.

Here are ten instant ways to learn and build high self-esteem and confidence.

1. Think positively about yourself. Write down your great traits and accomplishments and review them routinely.
2. Dress in clothes that make you feel good about yourself.
3. Pay attention to your personal hygiene. Take care of your hair, nails, and teeth.
4. Eat a healthy balanced diet. It starts from the inside out. What you put into your body exudes on the outside.
5. Exercise regularly, at least three times a week.
6. Get enough sleep.
7. Manage your stress, and eliminate unnecessary stress factors. Stress takes a toll on your body and your emotions.
8. Set a realistic goal and achieve it! This is an instant confidence booster.
9. Spend time with friends and loved ones. Attempt to grow your social circle.
10. Most importantly, avoid people, things, and places that put you down or make you feel bad about yourself.

These are simple actions that allow you to feel good. This consequently, rewires your brain to develop more self-confidence.   Your goal is to commit to these ten simple actions. You’ll be amazed at how you become more confident in yourself. Your self-perception has an enormous impact on how other perceive you. Now you will be the one turning head heads upon entering a room. 

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

 

 

This video shows a little girl (now a teenager) named Jessica doing her daily affirmation. She is saying everything she likes and you can even hear her say, "I can do anything!". Isn't it great to have a child-like attitude; free from fear and reservation.  Jessica is doing something here that is very powerful. She is speaking to herself with confidence, fun, understanding and truth. She even jumps down and bounces away, presumably ready to tackle her day!

 

The Disney Fairy Tale, Snow White has a similar theme (well, it has several themes but we'll focus on this one). The queen possesses a magical mirror which she asks every morning: "Magic mirror in my hand, who is the fairest in that land?". (Or you may know the version, "mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all.) The mirror always replies: "My Queen, you are the fairest in that land." This pleases the Queen as the mirror doesn't lie to her.

 

When we look in the mirror, we shouldn't lie either! What's your self talk like? Do you believe in yourself? I look in the mirror often. Not from a place of vanity, but to admire things I like about myself. Some days, I may not always feel that way but I like to remind myself that I am beautiful, smart, loved, appreciated, giving, etc. With so much negativity in the world, it's refreshing to be able to hear, see and speak words of affirmation.

 

So, try it. Take a look in the mirror and be like Jessica. "I like myself, I like my hair and my haircut, I like my pajamas." What are your messages? Mirror, mirror on the wall....

 

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

What Will You Gain When You Lose?

I love this question and frequently use it during my counseling sessions. It's from the Special K advertisement and everytime I see the commercial, I ask myself that question. The main concept the company is addressing is by losing weight, what will you gain? It gets viewers to think about it, to see themselves in a different light. Not only will they lose weight, but they will also gain something much more meaningful to them. On the Special K website, you see women holding various signs showing what they've gained. Words like sass, assurance, delight, peace and glow adorn the page.

This is the same in common, everyday life situations. Often times we see a loss as something bad. The loss of a job or loved one, or even losing our keys or something important can cause us a great deal of stress and anguish.

But what about those things that we need to lose? What can you gain by losing low self esteem. What about losing negative self talk? Can you stand to lose out on an unhealthy relationship?

Ask yourself, "what will I gain when I lose" and then go for being a loser! It's OK!

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

What is your "It"?

 

 

When you first see the title, you’re probably confused. What does the title refer to? I actually changed it several times before settling on it.  It pertains to letting go! What are you holding on to? What is your hurt, habit or hang up that you are struggling to release? What is your “it”? What do you need to let go of?

At times, many of us struggle with holding on to things, be it people, places or situations that we need to simply let go of.  These things may be holding us back or preventing us from receiving what is next for us.  It may be a relationship, a dead end job, low self-esteem, negative self-talk, anger and hurt. Letting go simply involves making a choice to move from your situation, be it past or current and embrace your future.   Whatever your “IT” is, make a choice today to give it to a power much higher and greater than us and…LET IT GO!

 

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

A Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Waste

The slogan goes, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste”. The term was coined by Forest Long in 1972 as the slogan for the United Negro College Fund. It was a "plea to everybody to reject the prejudices of the past and consider the inner person”. To me, Long’s premise was the need for higher thinking; that one should edify and seek growth.

As I thought about this recently, it reminded me of how much time we, at times, spend thinking negatively. This type of thinking leads to anxiety, depression, anger, failed goals, broken relationships, poor self concept and so on. It is my belief that we can control our thinking; that we can think about anything we want to. If this is truly the case, why choose to think about the negative? Why choose to self destruct?

“A mind is a terrible thing to waste”. Set a goal to be in better control of your thinking and practice managing it. Make a conscious effort to increase positive thinking and for every negative thought you have, offset it with 5 positive ones. If you find yourself struggling with changing your thinking, being stagnated by past hurts and hang ups or consistently ruminating on negative thoughts, counseling may be beneficial to you. Contact New Vision Counseling Center, LLC to schedule your confidential appointment.