How To Guide: To Getting The Home Life You've Dreamed Of

You see the perfect families on TV and dream to have a family like that one day. Where the children are God sent angels, the wife is Susie Homemaker, and the house is finely decorated. Upon realizing every family situation is different, you can learn to create your ideal family unit of your own. Below are some tips to help you doing so:

1. Be affectionate- Love and affection creates bonding, which promotes a healthier closer family unit. Love also allows one to feel a sense of belong and have higher self-esteem.

2. Deposit the qualities into your relationship that you wish to withdraw- This is essentially leading by example. If you want your husband and children to act out of love and kindness, you give them the love and kindness expected of them.

3. Communicate- Communication is key in any relationship. Talk often with your spouse so that you both can stay on the same page with the dealings of your family. Communicate with your children so they can learn what is expected of them and what their boundaries are.

4. Tend to your own life- An old saying is a happy wife, a happy life. Too often parents lose themselves in the shadow of their families. To take care of your family the best way you can, you have to first take care of yourself the best way you can. Take time for you and treat yourself.

5. Live in the moment- you can’t press rewind on their childhood, enjoy the now. If the house is a mess, take the time to play a cleaning up game instead of fussing about it.

6. Appreciate each other- it’s the little things that can make or break our level of coping. Small gestures go a long way. Take the time to appreciate the smaller things and watch how much more your mood elevates

7. Give yourself time to think- When you find yourself upset or furious in a situation. It is ok to ask everyone to go to their rooms or for you to even go to yours. Give yourself time to cool down, and evaluate the best way to handle the situation. That way you are handling things logically and not emotionally.

8. Create tradition- traditions gives children a sense of belonging and identity. Additionally, It gives them something to look forward to, as well as consistency.

What are some tips that you implement in your home that keeps your family happy? Comment below or post on our facebook page or tweet us at @newvisioncc

Living or Existing. What are YOU doing?

In the daily hustle and bustle and the stressors of life it is sometimes quite easy to just "go along to get along" or to just "go with the motions". There are certain situations where I do approve the mindset of "fake it til you make it" but there are many times in life when we must be actually present; in the here and now.

A chair simply exists. It is what it is...a chair.  We are not chairs, tables or other inanimate objects. By simply existing we can miss out on the joys and happiness of life. We were created and meant to LIVE. To have a purpose, meaning, breath and life. To not only celebrate the BIG things but to also revel in the small ones.

Existing will cause us to focus on inconsequential things or things that don't or won't matter in the long run; whereas living will allow us to see the big picture, enjoy every moment and embrace the journey we're currently on.

Take some time today to assess and even reassess your life. Focus on what's been happening to you and your responses. I'm not saying to minimize things that are devastating to you or that have been painful. I'm asking you to evaluate whether or not despite those things, if you've chosen to exist or live. I'll admit, it's taken me a while to get here and some days I'd prefer to just "be". But, those are the times when I must purposefully and intentionally LIVE.

I was at a high school football honors banquet last year and the speaker, Mark Tidwell talked about living intentionally. He challenged us all to live as though we're terminal because we know the next day isn't promised. Thinking on that, it's important to make everyday count and to move from existing and just going along, to having the courage to live!

If you're ready to start living but find it difficult, counseling or talking to a trained professional may be helpful.

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

Under Construction: Detour Here

What do you mean, “road closed”, follow detour? This is the road you’ve always taken to get you from point A to point B.  Now, you feel confused, maybe even frustrated. You’re contemplating turning around just going back home. After all, who has the time to get lost or delayed? If you live in the metro Atlanta area, you may see detour signs more often than you’d like to!

Isn't that just like life.  Sometimes we’re on a path, simply taking it because that’s the way we’ve always gone! This is the way we know to go.  However, at times, life requires detours.  Our paths have to be altered in order to get us where we need to be. We need to be “under construction”.  This is the only way to make our good, better and our better, best!

If you’re struggling with life detours, counseling and talking to a trained professional may help. Contact New Vision Counseling Center, LLC and allow us to help you reach your life’s destiny!

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*

Are you emotionally paralyzed?

The English dictionary defines paralysis as “loss of voluntary movement as a result of damage to nerve or muscle function” and “failure to take action or make progress”. People often think of physical paralysis when they hear the word paralyzed. But this can take place emotionally as well. As individuals, we may have been hurt emotionally. Hurt due to rejection, abandonment, lack of emotional support, criticism, abuse, etc. This causes emotional damage, which can result in lack of progress in our lives.

Ever wonder why sometimes women are so bitter/cold towards each other? Why some women, even teenage girls often say they prefer male friendships over female?  Or why some men have difficulty committing in relationships? It’s easier to distance ourselves or remain detached than to risk being hurt again.  Anger is sometimes used as a shield to protect us from feeling vulnerable.  When an individual has difficulty forming meaningful relationships, there may be an underlying fear. It is scary to consider exposing your true feelings and risk experiencing that hurt again. So in turn, we become emotionally paralyzed, stagnant, and fearful of experiencing more hurt or damage. But, to remain in this emotional state prevents us from growing.

As a result, we also risk loosing the possibility of forming a loving, meaningful relationship. We risk loosing the possibility of receiving love, loving others, and loving ourselves. And there is no greater feeling than the feeling that you are loved. This holiday season, take the necessary steps to release any fear that may be hindering you from accepting love or loving others.

 

*Blog contributed by Shaketa Robinson-Bruce, LPC. Shaketa is a therapist at New Vision Counseling Center, LLC who works with children, adolescents and adults providing individual, family and couples therapy. Info in this blog is strictly the writer's personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911. To learn more about Mrs. Robinson-Bruce and the services she offers at NVCC, click here.*

Make it Happ'n Cap'n

Lately, I have been hearing people in my personal and professional life state they are "waiting on something to happen". They are sitting by and hoping to get a raise, find love, improve relationships and so on. I then ask for clarity to this statement and many respond with, "I'm just waiting on things to improve or get better", "my life will be better when....".

If this sounds like you, my response is, "make it happ'n cap'n" (happen captain). Take control of your life and the situations around you. Your boss just may be waiting on you to request a raise, your love may be at a place you really don't frequent or a relationship may improve once you take the step to see what is hindering it. After the 2009 election, I recall someone saying, "don't wait on people to motivate you, motivate yourself".

If you are having trouble with motivation, improving your circumstances or finding direction in your life, counseling may benefit you. Sometimes it is helpful to speak to a trained professional or someone outside of your current support system. Click here to schedule your confidential appointment.

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.*