Are your goals SMART?

For many, January 1, 2009 will bring about new goals and resolutions. As one year ends and a new one makes it way in, we tend to think of ways to be better than the previous year. Often times however, we forget about our New Year resolutions after a few months have passed. Or, we may give up on them because we become discouraged. One way to set and achieve goals is to first write them down so you can have a reminder of them. Next, make sure your goals are SMART. Here's a breakdown of what I mean. Let's take the issue of weight. First, goals must be (S)Specific. Try not make your goals too vague because you won't be able to easily assess your success or the need to modify a goal. Instead of saying I will loose weight this year, change it to I will loose 5 pounds per month. Secondly, a goal must be (M)-Measurable. I will increase my exercise from 1 day a week to at least 3 days a week is easy to measure. A goal should be (A)-Achievable. Many times we fall off the band wagon because our goals are not realistically achievable. To say you will loose 30 pounds in 15 days is not achievable for anyone. Rather, commit to loosing 5 pounds in 30 days. This is more achievable and you will feel better knowing you reached one of your goals. Setting (R)-Realistic goals will also help you achieve them. It is important to evaluate whether or not you have the time, resources and support you need to reach your goals. Lastly, goals should be (T)-Time Framed. Some people spend a lot of time talking about what they want to do, someday. But, without a target date there is no sense of urgency and no reason to take any action today. Having a specific time frame (that is SMART) gives you the push you will need to get started. It also helps you monitor your progress.

So, a SMART goal will look something like this: Within 30 days, I will loose 5 pounds. Or you can say, in 2009, I will live a healthier lifestyle. I will know I am doing this by loosing 5 pounds a month, exercising (walking, cleaning, swimming, dancing) at least 3 days a week for at least 20 minutes, attending all of my therapy appointments as scheduled, getting my dental check up at least every six months and showing within level cholesterol and blood pressure readings at my yearly exam.

Now that you know the fundamentals of goal setting keep the SMART acronym in mind to help you remember the basics. Don't push yourself too hard or too fast and always be your own best friend and never set yourself up for failure. While successful people know you have to stretch your talents to grow, they also know it's important to set reasonable goals. The first step to success is knowing where you want to go. The second step is having a plan to get there. Your goals are your road map. Follow them and you'll be well on your way. Good luck with your new goal setting and have a Happy and Prosperous New Year!

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911.*

What's Your Purpose?

Have you ever thought about your purpose in life, on Earth, or your obligation to man-kind? I often work with clients who struggle because they do not know their purpose. I've also tried to convince a child/teen that what they are going through will make them a better person and help them define their purpose. Although it is difficult to grasp this understanding, it is so true!

Some suggest that one must meditate, go on a spiritual journey and pray to define their purpose in life. Rick Warren has even written a book, The Purpose Driven Life, to help us answer, "what on earth am I here for?"

To help you out, I have included a fill in the blank exercise adapted from the November 2006 edition of Essence magazine. When you have some quiet time, think about and complete the statements. Don't ponder too hard as your first answer is usually the most truthful. Review it often to help you gain a sense of your true purpose. Once you complete it, keep it somewhere you'll see it and be inspired!

I can’t imagine life without ____________. When I’m spending time __________ hours pass and I don’t even notice. It saddens me to know that so many people don’t have ________________, but what gives me hope is knowing that each of us has the power to _____________. Sometimes the effort it takes to do ______________ is exhausting, but what keeps me going is the knowledge that ___________. When I went through the painful experience of ___________, it just strengthened my faith in __________________ and my resolve to __________. My dream is to create __________. It’s the reason I ______________ each day, and it’s why I think about_______ as I go to sleep each night. Some might call it a mission. Turns out, it’s my purpose.

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911.*

My Mind's Playin' Tricks on Me

There was a rap song that came out in 1992 with this title. Although explicit, the song made the point clear, your mind can play tricks on you!
How many times have you "talked" yourself out of doing something, or started telling yourself something opposite of what you really want to have or do? For example, you may say to yourself, "I want to be debt free by the end of 2009", then no sooner than you finish that statement, you begin to think about all of the bills, unexpected situations that can occur, and whatever else that costs money. Soon, you forget about your goal to be debt free or put it on the back burner. I call this, Mind Games! Sometimes, we can immediately jump to conclusions about situations without careful and rational thinking.

We have the ability to change the way we think. Yes, it is hard sometimes, but we can. I can remember growing up and hearing my mother quote Norman Vincent Peale's, The Power of Positive Thinking! I didn't know what she meant and sometimes I'd think, "ugghhhh, here we go again! But, Mr. Peale, and my mother, knew then what I and you can know now! We CAN eliminate all of the negative thoughts that prevent us from achieving happiness and success!

Again, this can be hard but it is not rocket science. Here are a few suggestions from The Power of Positive Thinking to get you on the way to changing how you think:
believe in yourself and in everything you do;
build new power and determination;
develop the power to reach your goals;
break the worry habit and achieve a relaxed life;
improve your personal and professional relationships;
assume control over your circumstances;
be kind to yourself.

So, the next time you find yourself countering your statements, immediately rephrase it to something you can achieve. Or, on another musical note, in "I Believe I Can Fly", R. Kelly said, "If I just believe it, there's nothing to it"!

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911.*

Join me this Sunday, 12/7 at 6pm EST

I invite you to join me as I am interviewed this Sunday, December 7th at 6pm EST on Blogtalk Radio by Dina Harbour. Dina is the founder of W.O.W-Women Obtaining Wealth. Women Obtaining Wealth is a multi-facet organization that operates an Internet talk show, financial, family, and business coaching services to women in search of resources, assistance and support with pursuing their passion and living a wealthy life. You can call in at (646) 478-5836 to ask me questions or listen in the chat room and ask questions via chat. I look forward to hearing from you and sharing with you some of the thoughts and passion behind New Vision Counseling Center.

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/WomenObtainingWealth/2008/12/07/WOW-Interviews-Kristy-Christopher-NCC-LPC-Therapist-and-Founder-of-New-Vision-Counseling-Center

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911.*

What Did You Learn?

Well, we've made it! We made it through all of the cooking, cleaning, hoopla, Black Friday, Saturday shopping and the emotional, or maybe for some, the ecstatic goodbyes. Now that Thanksgiving is over, we have time to reminiscence.

For many, Holiday gatherings evoke stress, discomfort and anxiety within families and ourselves. For others, it's a time of bliss, merriment and good times. Regardless of the outcome, we can be thankful for experiences and opportunities. Maybe you were able to contain your emotions and words if something negative was said or did. Or maybe you were able to express yourself rather than bottle in emotions. Better yet, like my previous post suggested, maybe you took a break during the chaos or asked someone for help! Whatever the case may be, there was a lesson learned to be thankful for.

As we now prepare for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or whatever you may celebrate I encourage you to spend some time self reflecting. If you are experiencing hesitancy or stress, you may feel better by seeking out professional help from a counselor. A paper my sister wrote said it best, "family is what you make of it and how much you dedicate to it...the only person you can change is yourself". This is true, and when we change, we often see others around us change. When we are able to learn why things happen, we can deal with them better.

So, if a family experience during Thanksgiving has given you a reason to seek out ways to learn about yourself and grow personally, give thanks!

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911.*

The Holidays Are Here!

As the Holidays approach, it is easy to become overwhelmed with cooking, cleaning, gifts, family, office parties, get togethers and all of the sales. Therefore, this time of year can produce stress, and alot of it. Here are some tips in handling the upcoming Holidays.

-Make a To Do list; it can be overwhelming if you forget to take your Holiday party outfit to the cleaners
-Make a grocery list in advance; a house full of guests + 1 roll of TP=chaos
-Set realistic goals; you cannot do it all in one day
-Ask others for help; ask a friend or family member to pick up the laundry if they are on that side of town but remember to return the favor!
-Take a break; it's ok to retreat to your room for a few minutes even if you do have house guests, they'll understand
-Bite your tongue; In some cases, keeping your peace in the moment, will allow for peace after the fact
-Remember the true Reason for the Season

This year, why not try to make an effort to follow this list and let the readers know how it works by leaving a comment on how you manage Holiday stress.

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911.*

What's Your Reality?

The Real Housewives of Atlanta, The Real Housewives of Orange County, I Married Myself a Balla', Paris Hilton's: My New BFF, Hogan Knows Best, Whitney and Bobby!

With so much "Reality TV" on, it is easy to loose focus and get caught up in what someone else's reality is. I recently saw someones status on a social networking site that said, "I'm watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta, I can't wait to be like them". And I thought to myself, "why not be like you?"

It is important to live our lives based upon our own reality rather than the life someone else has, or the lifestyle someone wants us to have or even think we should have. When we live for ourselves, we remove a lot of pressure to try to be like someone else. We aren't consumed with keeping up with the Joneses, but we are consumed with being the "best me I can be". Now, I'm not saying to not reach for higher goals, wealth, prosperity and status. I'm not even telling you to not have a role model, so don't get me wrong. But what I am saying is don't loose yourself in the process. Reach for these things because you want to better yourself and your family, not because you want to be like someone else.

Have you ever wondered what a real, reality show would look like? What if a news or TV crew followed you everyday, unscripted and uncut? What if they watched you raise your children to be humble and respectful and they watched you solve a disagreement with your spouse, after you've argued and slammed a few doors. What if they taped you going to work early and leaving late, only to still get caught in traffic. What if the show featured your negative balanced bank account, or taped you making your budget weekly because you weren't too sure how high gas and groceries would be this week. What if it taped your true, raw emotions after a crisis or even after a happy and eventful moment? Would you watch this show? If your answer is no, then my question is why not? Many of us live this life on a daily basis, and even though it may not be the life we want, it is a real life, based in reality! As much as we may want to, we can't "press pause" on our lives, we can't edit and erase situations, we can't live life based upon a script and we surely can't say, "cut, take 2, annnnddddd....action"! Real life, based in reality doesn't happen this way. (We can learn to "record" over the negative thoughts playing in our heads that cause us to feel inferior and incompetent but that's another blog for another day!)

The "Real Life of (your name here)", is the best production running and you are the best critic out there! Let's stay focused on what's real for our own individual situations and make steps to achieve the reality we want. Be Blessed!

"There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other." -Douglas Everett

"What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality."-Otto Rank

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911.*