Signs of Teenage Suicidal Behavior

Signs of teenage suicidal behavior can be hard to spot. Often time it is confused with regular adolescent behavior.

The difference between the two is that teenagers' suicidal behavior is more extreme.

I want to you think for a moment...

Have you ever said to yourself, “I wish I could make all my troubles, hurts, and pains go away?”

If you have, chances are so has your teenager. It's this line of thinking that could sometimes lead to suicidal thoughts.

There is so much pressure for a teenager to be "normal" or "perfect".

1.      They have to be a model child for their parents.

2.      They have to be a perfect friend to their peers.

3.      They have to be a good student for their teachers.

All of these things and more are overwhelming and stressful.

In fact suicide is the third leading cause of death in 15 - 24 year olds according to healthychildren.org.

As a parent myself, it is scary for me to think that my child could go to such a dark place.
What scares me even more is not being able to bring them back from the brink of despair.

To fight such a battle, we as parents, must first know the signs of our teenagers suicidal behavior.

Common signs of teenage suicidal behavior:

Signs Of Teenage Suicidal Behavior

· Making suicidal statements

· Being preoccupied with death in conversation, writing, or drawing

· Giving away belongings

· Withdrawing from friends and family

· Having aggressive or hostile behavior

· Neglecting personal appearance

· Running away from home

· Risk-taking behavior, such as reckless driving or being sexually promiscuous

· A change in personality (such as from upbeat to quiet)

Some of these signs could be a cry for attention and may never progress to suicidal thoughts.

Any cry for attention should be met with swift intervention.

If you think your teenager's behaviors are signs of suicidal thoughts, please seek help for them.  If they are an immediate danger, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.  Once they are stable, contact us to schedule a confidential appointment with one of the many therapists at New Vision Counseling Center, LLC.

 

How To Deal With Troubled Teens

Think back to when you were a teenager.

Would your parents or society have placed you in the troubled teen category? 

What were some of your experiences? Do you remember the emotions you felt, the stress you felt to be popular, or smart, or pretty?

Surprisingly enough, sometimes these emotions follow us into adulthood. But one hopes that as we age and become wiser we know how to deal with these emotions in a mature and healthy fashion.

As a teenager the brain doesn’t quite yet understand the concept that “this too shall pass”. This could lead to some behaviors that would cause them to be labeled as troubled teens.

Click here to learn more about the inner workings of a teenager’s brain. 

If you are a parent with a troubled teen, don’t despair, there is hope and light at the end of the tunnel. Although parenting a troubled teen will take extra effort on your part, there are things you can do to make the situation easier.

 Tips To Parenting A Troubled Teen

 ·         Identify The Cause

         If your troubled teen has recently made a drastic personality change or a shift in their circle of friends, sit down with them and talk about it. There may be something going on of which you are unaware. As busy adults it is very easy to neglect the needs of our teens. Therefore, we must remember that raising healthy teenagers should be our number one focus and remain vigilant.

I remember I had a friend in high school who started drinking a lot. Unbeknownst to her mother, the father was sexually molesting her and this is what caused her drinking. Her mother was so consumed with her own life, she never took the time to identify the root cause of my friend’s behavior.

Don’t let something like this happen to you.

·         Establish Rules And Consequences

          If your troubled teen is doing things like skipping school, staying out past curfew, or shoplifting etc., then establish some ground rules and consequences to their actions. For example, if they are skipping school, don’t allow them any television or social media interaction.

 Social media is such a big part of teenagers’ lives now but you shouldn’t allow them to be consumed by it. If you do, removing them from social media as a consequence may cause some frightening responses. In fact, there was a news story of a young man, who was an “A” student and one would not consider troubled, killing his parents because they took away his Ipod.

I don’t share this story with you to scare you but I am using it as a cautionary tale in order to make you aware and warn you of the possible outcomes of letting your child become overly dependent on social media and technology.

 ·         Seek Professional Help

I specialize in counseling troubled teens and families. Sometimes my teenage clients will open up to me even when their parents have exhausted all attempts at communication. This is because they find it easier to speak to someone who is not directly involved in the situation. This allows me to find the causes of their negative behavior and relay them to the parents. Afterwards I assist the parents in coming up with a plan of action to help get their troubled teen back on track.

There are so many outside forces that can cause your once happy go lucky teen to become troubled. But whatever you do, do not give up on them and do not stop trying to get through to them. They may not know it but they desperately want you to be “all up in their business”. Your persistence shows them that you love them and love and acceptance is what they are really after.

Dealing With A Defiant Child? Here’s 3 Tips To Help You

“No mommy, I don’t want to”, said the toddler to his mother. I could see the frustration in the mother’s eyes in the checkout line of the grocery store. I could almost read her thoughts and hear her prayers of patience. Dealing with a defiant child is not an easy task especially when you are in public and do not want to draw attention to yourself by causing a scene.

Being a parent is not for the faint of heart. It takes a person with patience, love, endurance and understanding to come out of the trenches unscathed. It is even more difficult to parent when you are dealing with a defiant child.

 Children are defiant for all types of reasons but the most common and prominent reason is lack of control and this is especially true in toddlers and preschoolers. They lack any sense of control over their lives at this young age yet they still want to assert their independence. What we as parents see as defiance, toddlers and preschoolers see as independence.

 

Tips For Dealing With A Defiant Child

·         Remember You Are The Adult

           Your defiant child isn’t being that way on purpose. It is easy to lose your temper when you want your child to do something and their defiance rears its ugly head. As the adult you need to maintain a sense of calm. By remaining calm, your child will mimic your behavior. If you get on the crazy train with them your child will only become more defiant and irate.

·         Give Them Some Control

           As the parent you control every aspect of your toddler/preschoolers’ life, from what time they wake up in the morning, to what they eat, wear etc. In order to lessen some of the defiant behavior allow them to make some choices. For instance, pick out two outfits and allow them to decide which of the two outfits they want to wear. Giving them the ability to make decisions helps them to feel more in control of their life. This is also a great way to build and support their natural instinct to be independent.

·         Let Them Cry It Out

          Sometimes your defiant child is just having a bad day. As parents we tend to forget that just because toddlers/preschoolers don’t have the stresses of work and bills they still get stressed out. Maybe they feel like you don’t understand what they are trying to say or perhaps you are not giving them the attention they want. All of these things can cause them to have a melt down. When we as adults have melt downs it is no longer acceptable for us to scream and roll around on the floor, although many of us wish we could, me included. But it is acceptable for your child. So let them get it out, ensure they will not harm themselves and just wait until they calm down. Afterwards they will be your sweet angel once again.

 Dealing with a defiant child can be challenging to say the least. But it’s important to remember that your child’s behavior in a particular situation does not define your child. Be careful about negatively labeling your child with such phrases as bad child, hard-headed etc. As the parent you are responsible for guiding and molding your child. So keep a high tolerance for patience, humor, and a lot of love. Because in the end that is all your child really wants and needs.

 

He Proposed...3 Questions You Need to Ask Before Saying Yes

 

In the animal kingdom, the male counterparts are the ones that do all the courting during the mating season. They fight other males, they showcase their beautiful colors, they build elaborate houses, all to prove to the female that they are the superior suitor.

In the case of the Bower bird he doesn’t fight or display elaborate colors, instead he uses his cognitive and building skills to lure a mate. He builds a bower to attract his female counterpart. He takes great pride in his bower using sticks and twigs to build it high enough for her to see. He adorns it with insects, flower petals, and other objects he thinks will attract a mate.

In addition to being a master builder, the Bower bird is also a master illusionist. In order to appear bigger and thus more desirable to his mate, he arranges stones at the end of his bower from small to big. This way when his female counterparts view him from the other end of the bower, he appears bigger next to the smaller stones. This makes the female think he will be a good candidate to mate with because he is big and strong and will produce big and strong offspring to help the species survive.

When contemplating a potential candidate for marriage, he/she may present an illusion of the type of person you want to marry. Once the marriage has happened and the illusion wears off, you are left with chaos and confusion.

To help you avoid this scenario happening to you I have listed 3 crucial questions to ask  your mate before marriage.

1. Can I See Your Credit Report?

Before you marry someone it is important to know their financial obligations. Viewing their

credit report will give you insight into their money managing skills, so don’t be afraid to ask  for it. You need to know their debt to income ratio, how many collection accounts they have, how many credit cards they have, how many open expenses they have. Also you need to know if they pay alimony or child support. This is crucial to know because once you get married their debt becomes your debt. It’s also important to discuss what you will do if one spouse becomes unemployed. How long will you be able to live off of  one income before it becomes a problem. If your spouse gets hurt and can no longer work, will you be willing to accept being the sole provider indefinitely?

 

2. Can I See Your Medical History?

What is the health status of the person you are with? Have you two taken a complete STD exam before having sexual relations? Do they have heart problems, cancer, high blood pressure etc. You need to know the health of the person you are marrying to decide if you are going to have to be a caregiver. Is this a role you will undertake with pleasure and ease? How will you feel if your significant other gains weight? How much weight is okay? Do they drink? Do drugs? What if they won’t stop?

3.  Do you want children?

Does the person you are with have children? Do they want more children? If they don’t have children, do they want children? How will you raise your children? Do you believe in spanking or time outs? Do you want your children to go to school or be home schooled? What religion will you raise your children to believe? Will one of you stay home with the children?

There are so many other things to learn about your potential life partner but these three critical questions should help to get the conversation started. Remember your mate like the Bower bird will create an illusion of what you want but you need to delve deeper to find out if your mate is what you need.

For more help contact me to set up pre-marital counseling and I will help you and your mate make the best decision with regards to your relationship.

The One Technique That Will Help You Reach Sexual Nirvana

Does your sex life need a complete  makeover? Could it benefit from an extensive renovation?

An unfulfilling sex life is one of the biggest complaints I get from my clients. Their once vibrant and passionate sex life has now become dull and apathetic. This can happen for many reasons but it doesn’t have to continue. There are things you can do to fight your way back from the wasteland of mundane sex and re-enter the sexual eden you and your partner once experienced.

What is the current condition of your sex life?

The greatest way to transform your sex life is to make it more than just a physical exchange. Help the bonds of your relationship grow stronger by making your sex more spiritual in nature. This can be achieved by incorporating Tantric Sex into your bedroom.  

Tantric Sex is a way to move your sexual experience beyond physical and reach a deeper spiritual level of intimacy with your mate. This type of sexual experience should only be done with someone with whom you are in a committed relationship. The practicing of Tantric Sex will help your relationship to heal so that you can once again have a passionate sex life.

The article 5 STEPS TO ACHIEVING THE MOST TANTRIC INTIMACY gives the following simple steps with instructions for beginners:

1. Lock Eyes And Breathe Deeply
2. Assume A “Yab-Yum” Position
3. Synchronize Your Breathing
4. Clear Your Mind Of Any Thought
5. Fire Breath Orgasm And Cobra Breath

While these things may sound silly or seem intimidating they can be completed with ease. To get a better understanding of Tantric Sex read the article in it’s entirety and also do your own research.

Tantric Sex is a wonderful way to recharge and renew your sex life and the bond you share with your partner. It can help your partnership to become more cohesive and stronger so that you can withstand any adversity. It also has the added benefit of helping you both to become more self aware and if embraced in it’s entirety help you heal from past hurts.

If you are ready to reach your sexual nirvana then give Tantric Sex a try.

*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.* 

Amazingly Awesome Things To Do If You Are Single On Valentine’s Day

“

Single” is an opportunity to live life on your own terms and not apologize.” - Mandy Hale, The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass

Every year Valentine’s Day comes around with great fanfare. The stores stock the shelves with candy, stuffed animals with hearts, and sappy love filled greeting cards. You are bombarded by television commercials of men giving jewelry to their mate and couples sharing romantic moments together.  Then there are those well-meaning friends who look at you with sadness when you tell them you will be single on Valentine’s Day.

All of a sudden your secretly coveted (by those in relationships) singlehood becomes something for which everyone pities you.  

Being single on Valentine’s Day is not a death sentence nor does it have to be depressing. The same reason you enjoyed being single before and after Valentine’s Day will still be valid on Valentine’s Day. Instead of focusing on the fact that you will not be coupled up on Valentine’s Day, take this day to show someone very special how much they are loved - you.

Here are some amazingly awesome things to do for yourself on Valentine’s Day

Send Yourself A Love Letter Or A Card
A few days before Valentine’s Day write yourself a love letter or buy a greeting card that speaks to you. In the love letter list all the things you love about you and what makes you such a special person and worthy to be loved. Put the love letter or card in the mail and mail it to yourself. When you come home on Valentine’s Day and find your love letter or greeting card waiting for you it will instantly brighten your day.
Mix And Mingle
If you have single friends hook up with them on Valentine’s Day and go somewhere fun. Go dancing, attend a play, or out to dinner. You will find that on Valentine’s Day many venues host events just for singles. You may even meet someone there who tickles your fancy. If you do, great! If you don’t, no big deal. The point is don’t think that just because you are single on Valentine’s Day that you have to stay at home feeling sorry for yourself and being ashamed that you are single. Being single can be liberating if you let it.
Treat Yourself
The great thing about being single on Valentine’s Day is that you don’t have to spend money on a gift for someone else hoping they like it. Instead you get to buy yourself something that you know you will like. If you see a stuffed teddy bear that you wish someone would buy you, then buy it for yourself. If you want to go to a certain restaurant, take yourself. Remember to enjoy your own company because no one knows or loves you like you.
There is nothing wrong with being single. Take your time finding someone with whom you want to couple. Life is too short to be unhappy just because you are trying to conform to societal norms by being in a relationship. While you are single take the time to better yourself, physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially. Being single gives you the freedom to pursue your passions without hesitation and to accomplish some major life milestones. Being single is awesome no matter the day of the year. When you are ready to be in a relationship you will be, until then, keep loving you.
*Info in this blog is strictly my personal and/or professional opinion. Posts and comments are not intended to treat, diagnose or replace any medical advice you may have received. Please contact your doctor or therapist if you feel you need help, and in case of an emergency, dial 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.* 

 

 

 

How To Stop Agonizing And Conquer Your Goals

“Dare to dream! If you did not have the capability to make your wildest wishes come true, your mind would not have the capacity to conjure such ideas in the first place. There is no limitation on what you can potentially achieve, except for the limitation you choose to impose on your own imagination. What you believe to be possible will always come to pass - to the extent that you deem it possible. It really is as simple as that.” -  Anthon St. Maarten

This is the final edition to my month long blog series about setting goals using the S.M.A.R.T. method. I hope you have not only learned from my post but actually committed to making your goals SMART.

Subscribe to my blog post so you won’t miss next month’s series, love and relationships.

In today’s post I will be going over the last letter in the S.M.A.R.T. goals method. At the end of this post I will provide an example of a goal in its completion using this method.

 

I would love for you to share your SMART goal with me by leaving a comment below.

I have enjoyed teaching about goal setting this month. While teaching you I also taught myself more about crafting my goals better so that I will achieve them.

Has it done the same for you?

Let’s begin crafting the last portion of your S.M.A.R.T. goals, Time-Bound.

Don’t forget your S.M.A.R.T. goals worksheet.

Time-Bound

This portion of goal setting refers to setting your goals in a time frame giving them a sense of urgency. By setting a specific date on which your goals should be achieved you do not let life get in the way of achieving your goals. In my last blog post I gave in my example how to set a specific date for completing your goals.

 

Bad Example: I am going to lose 20lbs this year.

Good Example: I am going to lose 20lbs by this year. I will be starting my diet on May 1, 2016 and I will have lost 20lbs by August 12, 2016.   

By setting a specific date you begin to subconsciously place more value and importance on this goal because you have given yourself a deadline.

I have completed explaining how to craft your goals using the S.M.A.R.T. goal setting method.

Have you understood how to implement this new strategy of goal setting?

I will now give you one last example using all five letters of the S.M.A.R.T. goal.

Bad Example: I want to lose 20lbs pounds this year so I can fit into my bikini this summer when I go to the beach.

 
Good Example: Starting on January 1, 2016 I am going to start my diet so that I will lose 20lbs in order to fit into a bikini when I go the Bahamas. I can just envision myself walking along the beach with no self-doubt, fear or shame. I will be confident once again in my own body and my self-awareness will improve. I will begin my diet by changing my eating habits following the Weight Watchers diet plan. I will start walking three times a week for at least 30 minutes and toning twice a week for 15 minutes each session doing upper body one day and lower body the next day. I will have lost 20lbs by May 23, 2016 and I will be able to fit into my size 8 bikini.

 

See the difference in the two examples?

 

The first example is just a vague statement and when reading it doesn’t invoke any excitement, urgency or importance. In the next example however, you have a vision of how your life will be when you lose 20lbs and you have an executable plan of action to follow.

As I bring this blog post to a close I want to thank you for reading.

I cannot say enough how I hope you not only got value out of this but also that you implement the strategies that you have learned.

Leave me a comment below and tell me your thoughts. I would love to hear your feedback.

 

P.S. Subscribe to my blog post so you won’t miss next month’s subject. In honor of Valentine’s Day all month long I will be discussing love and relationship. In one of my post I will be revealing how to use a certain type of sex method to build a stronger spiritual bond with your partner. Subscribe now to find out what it is, next month.